


Faith in Fate

by edeldolatyme



Series: Edelmendola One Shots [4]
Category: National Football League RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 05:51:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 33,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12575100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edeldolatyme/pseuds/edeldolatyme
Summary: High School hasn't been easy for Danny. After years of trying to forget what had happened he was starting to get his life back on track. When he received an offer that could bring everything up again, he decided to face his problems instead of running away. Will he be able to finally find closure or will his demons from the past come back again?Julian had to face some demons of his own throughhout his life and he knew that he had bewen hurting a lot of people on the way to where he was now in his life. When he gets the chance to make up for some of his mistakes, will he take it or be a coward like he'd been before?It will be a bumpy road for both Danny and Julian, where a lot of secrets are revealed and with some surprises waiting for them. Will they find their way to happiness??**************************************************************************Sorry,I'mnot really good at summaries, I hope you'll give this a try anyway.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Please remember that English is not my first language! I hope you enjoy it, I would love to get some comments :)

Prologue

The call came on an ordinary Tuesday when he was on his way back from a workout session with his personal trainer. Some days he asked himself why he even still bothered to keep going as there were no offers coming in whatsoever. His phone started ringing where it was lying on the passenger seat. Glancing at it he saw that it was Jim, his agent, and he felt the immediate urge to hit the ignore button. He didn't want to hear that there was still no one interested in signing him, his mood was bad enough already. The phone rang out but started again just a few seconds after the last ring. Danny sighed deeply and reached for it as he had just pulled up in front of his house anyway. Even though he didn't want to get his hopes up, he knew his agent wouldn't call him again immediately when it wasn't important. He began to have the feeling that Jim dreaded these calls as much as he did by now, always having to pass on bad news.  
Taking a deep breath he answered his phone: „Hey Jim!“  
He barely managed to get the greeting out before Jim's voice came booming over the line: „Danny, thanks for finally picking up your damn phone!“  
„Sorry Jim,“ Danny sighed again. „I was on my way home from training. What's up though?“  
Jim ignored his question completely and just continued talking as if Danny hadn't said anything.  
„Good to hear that you're keeping in shape. I received an offer, a quite interesting one if I may say so myself. You heard the rumours that Welker is supposedly going to leave the Patriots?“  
Danny frowned. Yes, he had read about that but what had that to do with him? Apparently, he had said the last part out loud as his agent started laughing.  
„God Danny, sometimes I honestly wonder how you managed to finish college with a degree. They want you as replacement for Welker. The Patriots contacted me to place an offer for you!“  
„What?“ Danny almost yelled into the phone. This had to be a joke. He quickly checked the date on his phone to make sure it wasn't the first of April and he was the victim of a very bad Aprils fool because Jim couldn't be serious. „And no Danny, I'm not joking, as if I would make a joke about something like this.“ Jim said, as if he could read Danny's mind. „I told them we are interested already as I figured you would be. We're flying to Boston on Thursday, I'll email you the flight details later.“ Jim sounded as thrilled as Danny should feel.  
„Well, let that sink in, I'll see you on Thursday!“ His agent let out another excited laugh and didn't even wait for Danny to say anything before he hung up.  
Danny sat in his car, dumbfounded by the news, for several minutes afterwards. He couldn't believe a team like the New England Patriots was interested in signing him. He shook his head, a wide grin starting to spread over his face. Of course he knew that just because they made an offer didn't mean they would definitely sign him but at least something was happening now. There was a silver lining on the horizon.  
After thinking about it for several more minutes, his excitement slightly turned into dread though. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate a team like the Patriots wanting to sign him but out of all the teams in the NFL why did it have to be them? Why did it had to be the one team where he was playing as well?  
It wasn't that he had followed his career much after finally leaving High School but he had had quite a good last season so his name had been coming up in the media a lot more often and had Danny shivering with bad memories every single time.  
He angrily shook his head at himself. He had allowed him to try to almost destroy his life, his passion for football once, he sure as hell wouldn't let that happen again. During the last years he had worked hard at getting where he was now and he knew he deserved this chance. He promised himself to not let what had happened years ago take away what he trained his arse off for his whole life.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Danny sighed when he heard his mum call his name from the kitchen downstairs. Today was the day he had been dreading for the last few weeks, ever since he and his parents had moved to California. He silently cursed his brother, Matt, for what felt like the thousandth time as he was already in College and didn't have to come with them. That was not the only reason why he would be missing his brother though, even if Danny didn't like to admit it.  
He had always been quite small for his age and also very quiet and shy. Despite playing football decent enough to make the team every year so far, he had constantly been a popular target to be picked on. Matt had always protected him and, despite the embarrassment it had caused Danny, it had also prevented him from being beat up several times.  
He knew that this was an opportunity for him to start new and make new friends, well to make any friends at all to be honest. However, he knew that it probably wouldn't take long for him to make a fool of himself, stumble over his words or worse which would lead to him being an outsider, again. And everyone knew that the new outsider was the favourite target of the bullies, the stronger guys who thought they owned the world.  
He didn't even know yet if he wanted to try out for the High School football team, even though his parents and especially Matt would kill him if he didn't.  
Finally dragging himself out of his bed after his mum had called him for the second time, he entered the bathroom connected to his room to get ready for school.

An hour later he pulled up at the school, parking his old Toyota Corolla at the far end of the parking lot. The car was a remainder from Matt as he had gotten a new one for his graduation last summer. He didn't really care about it, he was just happy he had one for himself which could take him places so he didn't have to walk or take the bus to school.  
Taking a deep breath he got out and moved slowly towards the main entrance.  
Luckily it was a relatively small school compared to his old one, so it wasn't too difficult to find the registry office to get his schedule and find the room for his first class. He slipped into the room, hoping to stay unnoticed for as long as possible.  
Unfortunately, his teacher, Mrs. Jones, had a different idea. After greeting the students and welcoming them for the new year, she scanned over her attendance list.  
“Daniel James Amendola?” She gave a questioning look through the class room.  
Danny sighed and slowly raised his hand. Due to that movement, all eyes turned to him. So much regarding his intentions of staying unnoticed.  
“Yeah that's me”, he answered in a small voice. “I p-prefer Danny though...” He coughed slightly and felt his cheeks heating up, burning in a bright red after stuttering that bit. The small snicker that came from his left made it even worse but he tried to ignore it.  
His teacher nodded with a small, encouraging smile: “Welcome to Woodside High School then Danny! Would you mind telling a bit about yourself?”  
'Yes, I would mind indeed' Danny thought but didn't say it out loud. Instead he just shrugged, cleared his throat again to try to get rid of the lump forming in there and answered shortly: “I'm 17, moved here from Texas four weeks ago, I like reading, drawing and I played football at my old High School.”  
He pointedly ignored another depreciative chuckle from across the room and kept his eyes mainly on his teacher. She gave him another warm smile, nodding.  
“I read that in your file, you seem to be pretty good, you should try out for our team here as well. Try outs are at the beginning of next week, aren't they Julian?”  
She looked at a student to his left and when Danny turned his gaze towards him and saw the smirk on the guys face, he knew that he was the one who had been laughing at him. He felt his face heat up again and looked away.  
“Yes, Mrs. Jones, they are on Tuesday next week.”  
Mrs. Jones thanked the guy and had already turned away to continue with class, starting to explain the schedule for the upcoming term, so she didn't hear the quiet remark Julian made afterwards: “But we only take good players so he probably shouldn't bother showing up!” making his friends laugh viciously.  
Danny briefly closed his eyes after hearing that comment and willed his face to not turn into a tomato again. He took a deep breath. Had he seriously expected things would be different here? He'd always been an outsider, why should this change now? Especially after he, of course, had made a fool of himself the first time he spoke.  
Sighing again, he tried to concentrate on the rest of what Mrs. Jones was talking about.

The remainder of the day passed rather uneventful, much to Danny's liking. He had to introduce himself in every other class though but the more often he said the same words over and over again, the surer he got while saying them. It also helped that he had no other class together with this Julian guy and his friends.  
However, he let out a relieved sigh when his last class of the day was finished and he was able to leave. He hurriedly packed his bag and had to restrain himself from running out of the building.

Arriving home, he was happy to see that both his parents were still out. He grabbed a snack from the kitchen and went up to his room. As he didn't have any homework to do yet, he tried to distract himself with reading but his thoughts soon enough went back to the situation in the class room this morning. He always had the tendency to over think stuff, therefore he found himself mulling over the comments Julian had made. Why was it constantly him who was being picked on? He hadn't even said anything before they had been laughing at him for the first time.  
What did he do to immediately receive this negativity? He angrily shock his head when tears started to gather in his eyes. He wouldn't be crying about something as stupid as that. Besides, these were only a few guys, he could handle that, he had had it worse.  
The rest of his fellow students had either greeted him normally in his other classes or didn't even acknowledge the 'new guy' at all which was fine for him. He just had to ignore Julian and his group and try to stay out of their way.  
Spending the rest of the afternoon in his room, he only went downstairs again when his mum called him for dinner. Luckily his parents didn't ask him too many questions about his first day, knowing the quiet nature of their son, so he didn't tell them much either. Instead they spent the dinner exchanging small talk which Danny didn't even listen to properly. It was only when his dad mentioned he had overheard a colleague at work that try outs for his schools' football team were next week that he started feeling a little uncomfortable. He hadn't talked about not wanting to try out with his parents yet.  
“Danny?” Snapping out of his thoughts he looked at his dad when hearing his name. He had obviously missed being asked something.  
“Uhm, what did you say?”  
“I said, I heard try outs were next week and therefore asked if we should do a little bit of training on the weekend? I know you go running five times a week but you haven't caught a single ball this summer with Matt having gone off to University and me being busy with my new job. Getting back into it before try outs would be good, yeah?” His dad smiled at him and Danny's stomach dropped.  
“I don't know if I'm going to try out at all”, he mumbled under his breath, keeping his eyes down.  
His dad still looked at him expectantly, clearly not having heard what Danny said.  
“Sorry?”  
Danny took a deep breath and repeated his words with closed eyes as he couldn't face his parents. “I don't know if I'm going to try out at all!”  
Both his mum and dad stopped eating and turned to him with raised eyebrows, totally taken by surprise. Danny kept his eyes closed, not wanting to see the disappointment in their faces.  
“Are you serious? Why Danny? You love to play!” His mum said in a gentle tone, a kind look on her face as if she knew that there was more behind that. Before he could say something though his dad spoke again: “Son, you know we've always been supportive of your decisions but I won't accept that without a good explanation. You know that Texas Tech is interested in recruiting you, you need to make the team to be able to get that scholarship! Just because they showed interest during the summer doesn't mean they definitely take you. And if you're not playing at all this year this chance is completely gone! You know what your coaches said, you could definitely make it far with your skills. And as your mother already pointed out, you love to play. Why the sudden change of heart?”  
Danny just shrugged as he didn't want to talk about his reasons with his parents. They didn't even know what had happened in his old school as it had never been bad enough for them to notice. And after begging Matt not to say anything either they had been able to keep it from their parents. Of course they realised that Danny never brought friends back home or went out much but they had just assumed he wanted it that way as he had always enjoyed his own company, even as a little kid.  
“I'm just not sure if that's really what I want” Danny whispered, still not looking at his parents. He knew that his dad wanted to say more but a pointed look from his mum stopped him.  
For now the conversation was over but Danny kind of expected there to be more to come, especially in case he genuinely went through with not going to try out for the football team.  
After helping his mum clean up after dinner he excused himself to his room, continuing to read his book until it was time to go to bed.

When it was finally Friday afternoon, Danny couldn't wait to get home and not having to see anyone from school for two whole days. The week hadn't been too bad though, considering how it had started, except for the Thursday where all but one of his classes where with Julian and his friends. The comments they made weren't nasty, yet, but he still heard them talk about him, mocking his accent and the way he spoke, imitating him only to erupt in mad laughter afterwards. He knew that they tried to get a reaction out of him and that it would only get worse over time but he didn't want to give them that satisfaction. However, he was already dreading the next Thursday even though it was still a week away.  
Luckily his parents hadn't brought up the topic of the try outs again but he knew it was just a matter of time. Therefore he couldn't say he was surprised when his phone lit up with a call from Matt on Saturday morning. For a split second he thought about not answering it yet it was his brother whom he hadn't talked to in more than three weeks. So he grabbed his phone and hit the green button to accept the call.  
“Hey Matt!” He tried to sound cheerful although Matt didn't pay attention to that or even bothered with a greeting.  
“What did I hear from mum, you're not going to try out for your new schools football team?”  
Danny sighed. “Matt you know...”  
“Yes I know you love it and are bloody damn good at it. It's always been your dream to play in the NFL and with the first colleges already having showed interest in you, you're on a good way to making it. So I don't understand where this is coming from now!?” His brother interrupted him quiet aggressively before he could even say a proper sentence.  
He stayed silent for a moment before he quietly replied: “It wouldn't change anything, they already made me their victim!” Danny hated how weak and defeated he sounded but couldn't help it.  
“What happened?” Matt asked, his tone having gone all soft which brought tears to Danny's eyes. Yes, they had rows like every other siblings, pretty bad ones even, but they also always looked out for each other and knew when something was wrong with the other one. Taking a shaky breath he started telling Matt about what had happened on his first day of school as well as during the rest of the week.  
“If I'm going to try out I'll just give them more chances to come at me!” He finished in a small voice, feeling like a 12-year old kid again.  
“Danny” Matt started in a quiet, understanding tone. “What would happen if you made it on the team?”  
“They would continue picking on me!”  
“And what would happen if you don't try out?”  
“They would continue picking on me as well” Danny admitted dejectedly.  
“Look, I know this sound bad now but it seems like they already decided that you'd be the one to suffer from them this year anyway and nothing you do will change that.”  
“Thanks, that's exactly what I needed to hear” Danny muttered which had Matt laugh slightly.  
“You're welcome” his older brother said before he got serious again. “Think about it, in case you make it on the team and they see how good you are it might even get better.”  
Danny scoffed disbelievingly, yet Matt just continued. “Even if it doesn't, it definitely won't make a difference if you're on the team or not, they will give you mean comments and try to rile you up either way. But Danny, you know what your coaches used to say, you have the potential to make it big. The Texas Tech recruiters visiting you during summer said the same. Do you want that to be destroyed by some stupid teenagers?”  
Danny sighed again and it felt like that was the only thing he did recently.  
“No, but...!”  
“No 'buts' Danny! It's your last year in High School, try and spend it doing something you love instead of moping around. And ignore these guys, they don't know how great you are and that's their loss, ok? Please, Danny!” Matt sounded more serious than Danny has ever heard him.  
Thinking about what his brother had said for a moment, he had to admit that the older one was right. He loved football and imagining that he wouldn't be playing anymore and with that also destroying his future was worse than the thought of Julian and his friends bullying him.  
“Ok!” He said which lead to Matt breathing out a sigh of relief. “You're right Matt, I shouldn't let other people’s behaviour and opinion influence me, I let this happen for too long. I'm going to try out for the team and show them what I'm capable of!”  
Danny knew he probably sounded more confident than he felt but he was determined now to make the team, no matter what.  
“Yeah, that's what I wanted to hear Danny, that's how I know my little brother!” Matt cheered over the phone. “You will be great, I know it! Listen, I have to go but good luck and you can always call me if you need me ok?” Matt reassured him and Danny nodded even though his brother couldn't see him.  
“Thanks Matt, I know that. And also thanks for the call, I needed that!”  
“Always bud. Talk to you soon!”  
With that, Matt had hung up without waiting for an answer. Danny sat on his bed for a while afterwards, recapping their conversation. He actually felt better now and was a bit angry at himself for even thinking about not going to try out. The way he was treated was no different to the one at his old school and there he hadn't cared about what other people had said about him either. And he had been playing football there as well despite being bullied.  
'But in Texas you had Matt' a little voice in his head said which made him even angrier. He was almost 18, it was time to finally stand up for himself he decided and that would start now.

His new found confidence lasted through the whole day at school on Monday and Tuesday, he even talked to a few of his classmates. However, all of his good intentions flew right out of the window when he turned up at the try outs on Tuesday afternoon. There was a huge crowd on the bleachers watching a group of people already warming up on the field. Danny swallowed hard before stepping forward to give his name and preferred position to one of the coaches supervising everything. The guy ticked his name of a list and told him to start warming up as well.  
“Oh look who decided to show up, he must really think he's standing a chance, poor lad.” Danny heard a voice say when he was walking past a group of guys stretching. Without looking he knew it had been Julian making that comment, sarcasm dripping from his voice, which had his friends laughing loudly. Ignoring them, Danny took a few steps away from them and began stretching himself.  
After about twenty minutes they were called together in the middle of the field and the head coach, Mr. Cowell, started explaining what they were about to do.  
“Everybody listen up! We will divide you in groups as per the positions you told us. We're going to do a few runs, sort out the first people and at the end we'll have a little training game, understood?” Everyone nodded.  
“Good. I'm going to call out the positions and the coach responsible for you will lead you through the exercises.”  
Coach Cowell began shouting positions, starting with the defence, so Danny had a chance to look around. Julian and his friends were standing a few feet away from him, talking and laughing at whatever they were saying, which Danny kind of assumed was about him. Despite what had happened he was a bit curious what positions they were playing. Julian was build similar to himself which gave him the slight fear that he would maybe try out for Wide Receiver as well. The others were bigger and bulkier so he figured they would be Tight Ends or Linebackers or something like that. He was surprised, yet also a bit relieved, though when the Wide Receivers were called out and Julian stayed where he was. What had his eyes almost popping out of his head in surprise however was when he saw the other guy going over to the group trying out for Quarterback. He definitely hadn't expected that.  
Luckily he didn't have any more time to think about that as his coach explained the first exercise they were doing.  
As soon as he started the first routine his mind solely focussed on the task at hand. He had always felt at home on the field and soon after catching the first few passes, running the first routes, he couldn't think of any reason why he'd ever wanted to stop playing. Getting a bit lost in the plays they ran, he didn't even realise how quickly the time passed and was somewhat disappointed when the coach blew his whistle, signalling the end of this first part. They were told to have a break and get a drink while the coaches discussed who was staying. Danny felt quite confident, he had caught almost all passes thrown at him and had made some good runs. However, when the coaches gathered them around them again and started calling out the names of the people who would progress further, he felt a tad nervous.  
Fortunately, his name was one of the first ones being called when it was the Wide Receivers turn and he let out the breath he hadn't realised he was holding.  
He vaguely registered the other names being called until they reached the group of Quarterbacks and Julian's name was the first to be confirmed. Danny suppressed the urge to roll his eyes at the smug grin on Julian's face and turned away. Starting to ask himself why he was paying so much attention to the other guy, he quickly pushed these thoughts to the back of his mind, concentrating on his surroundings again.  
When the guys who hadn't made it to the next round had left, the coaches divided them again, this time into four teams, to start practising for the training game. Danny tried to ignore the uneasy feeling settling in his stomach when he realised that Julian was 'his' Quarterback. He instead focussed on what the coaches said and gave his best on the field when they started practice again. However, this proved to be rather difficult as Julian pretty much disregarded him the whole time and didn't throw one pass towards him. He felt anger and frustration building up inside of him but pushed these feelings down, knowing that it wouldn't help if he said something.  
Apparently, he wasn't the only one who noticed though, as their coach stopped them a few minutes later, approaching Julian.  
“Edelman, what is the matter with you? You threw all the last passes away even though Amendola was completely free!”  
Julian just shrugged, not sparing one glance towards Danny. “He didn't really run the route he was required to so I figured he didn't know what he was doing and rather tried passing to someone else!”  
Danny scoffed under his breath, close to finally saying something. Was this guy being serious? Before he could open his mouth to defend himself his coach spoke up again: “Well, I think he knows exactly what he was doing as he got away from his defender on every play so far. Therefore I would advise you to have a little more faith and throw him some passes as well, understood?”  
“Yes coach!” Julian answered, looking ready to kill someone.  
“Good. Ok guys, we continue with the last play we did.”  
The coach blew his whistle again and everyone went back into formation. Danny felt a bit of satisfaction after Julian getting berated by the coach but he should have known that it wouldn't change anything. Even though Julian did throw the ball towards him several times afterwards, it was always when he was covered by at least two defenders so he had no chance at actually catching any of these balls. The shit eating grin on the other guys face confirmed as well that it was definitely on purpose.  
After the fourth pass he had had enough and was just about to confront Julian to ask what his problem was when the coach signalled them to stop.  
“Listen up guys, Team 1 will play against Team 3 and Team 2 against Team 4. We'll let you play for about thirty minutes, depending on how the games go in order for both defence and offence being able to be on the field at least once.”  
During the actual game it wasn't much different than during practice, even though Danny managed to catch a difficult pass for sixteen yards which he was quite proud of. He felt even better after seeing the look on Julian's face as he obviously hadn't expected him to catch that one. However, he wasn't sure about if his performance had been good enough when Coach Cowell announced the end of the try outs, thanking them all and sending them to the changing rooms.  
As Danny didn't have classes any more he couldn't be bothered showering there but went straight home instead.  
A few days later, he was delighted see his name on the team list that Coach Cowell had hung up outside his office. He even texted Matt immediately who replied with a string of thumbs up emojis and a 'Well done, I knew you could do it!'. His good mood didn't last long though as he had a class with Julian and his friends Dean and Steve, with whom he seemed to be attached to at the hips as they were hardly ever seen separately. The first thing he heard when sitting down was a hissed “Don't think you will be on this team for long, Texas. I will take care of that, that's a promise!”. He tried to ignore it but the evil smirk on Julian's face told him that he was dead serious about it.  
Even when his parents asked him during dinner that evening he couldn't be enthusiastic about it anymore although he actually didn't want to let himself be affected by the other guy’s comments that badly.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Danny was awoken by his alarm at four am on the morning they were scheduled to fly to Boston as Jim was going to pick him up at quarter to five. He laid in bed for a few minutes, felling a little nervous due to the upcoming trip as it was probably going to be life changing. Shaking his head, he tried to get rid of these thoughts. It wouldn't help anything to mull over 'What ifs'. Jim had told him his plan already, which was basically accepting almost everything they would offer without looking too desperate. He was still wary though and didn't want to get his hopes up too much. He hadn't even told his parents about this, for god’s sake.  
With a sigh he heaved himself out of his bed and into the shower. He went about his morning routine more or less on autopilot and had just finished putting away his dishes from breakfast when Jim pulled up in front of his house. Taking his small carry-on suitcase, they would only be staying for one night, and his jacket he left the house. He greeted his agent with a nod of the head and a mumbled “Good morning” while climbing into the passenger seat, knowing that Jim wasn't really a morning person. They spent the one hour ride to the airport in relative silence and Danny wondered not for the first time why Jim had booked such an early flight.  
At the airport they checked in immediately and went through security so they could still get a coffee before boarding. After Jim had finished half of his cup he was finally speaking for the first time that morning: “Ok Danny, I know I sent you the schedule already but we will be picked up at the airport and then have lunch with Robert Kraft and Bill Belichick. Just a casual chat there, get to know each other a bit, yeah?” Danny nodded and realised, while looking at his agent who was also a good friend of him by now and listen to his rambling that he seemed to be nervous, too. This was as big for Jim as it was for him, being quite a new and, for the average, young agent compared to the established ones. As much as it was a make or break situation for Danny, it was kind of the same for Jim. Feeling a sudden rush of guilt as he had only been thinking about himself during all this, he reached out to pat Jim's arm.  
“Don't worry, we got this, ok?” He smiled at him reassuringly, receiving a bright grin in response.  
“You're right” he said. “We're both good at what we are doing so no need to freak out now, right?!”  
Danny grinned back and they slipped into a comfortable silence again. Jim started tapping away on his iPhone while Danny took a look around at the other passengers around them, imagining their stories. They stayed in the Café until their flight was called for boarding and then they were off to Boston.  
When they left the airport in Boston about three hours later there was a car waiting for them, as expected, which took them straight to Foxborough, with only a short stop at their hotel to leave their luggage. Arriving at the stadium, their driver escorted them to one of the restaurants around the stadium and told them Mr. Kraft and Mr. Belichick were waiting for them inside. They thanked him and after taking a deep breath, Danny followed Jim into the restaurant.  
The lunch was surprisingly relaxed and Danny found himself enjoying it a lot more than he had thought. As intimidating as Coach Belichick could seem, he was easy to talk to as well as Robert Kraft. They hardly even touched the topic of football, as they said that would be saved for later. After about two hours the four of them left and Danny and Jim were taken into the stadium. That was were both Coach Belichick and Robert Kraft excused themselves but told them to wait here as someone would be coming in a few minutes to show them around the stadium a bit.  
As soon as the other two were out of earshot, Jim turned towards Danny with a big smile on his face.  
“Well, that wasn't too bad now, was it?” Danny nodded, a smile on his lips as well. Before he could answer though there was a guy coming towards them, introducing himself as Paul, one of the team’s assistants. He took them for a tour around the stadium, showing them all the important places.  
Danny had a nervous feeling in his guts the whole time which he knew wasn't due to the impending negotiations. Even though it was off season he had this irrational fear of running into him, Julian. He forced himself to not let his thoughts go there again but instead focussed on listening to Paul's explanations. In case the Patriots would sign him he had to deal with his past sooner or later anyway so he didn't need to freak out now already.  
Soon enough they found themselves back where they had started their tour. Paul took them to a small sitting area, brought them coffee and told them to relax a bit, they would be picked up as soon as everything was prepared for the negotiations.  
“I definitely like it so far and think it's going great, isn't it?” Danny looked at Jim before taking a sip from his cup.  
His agent nodded: “Yeah, I think so too. We need to stay focussed though ok, don't let ourselves be blinded by their friendliness. “  
Humming in agreement, Danny glanced towards Paul who was coming towards them.  
“Mr. Amendola, Mr. Poston” he came to a stop in front of them. “We are ready to see you if you would follow me please.”  
Jim and Danny got up and walked behind Paul to one of the meeting rooms. Before entering, Jim and he exchanged an encouraging smile and then stepped into the room where Bill Belichick, Robert Kraft as well as several other people were already waiting for them.

About three and a half hours later they had come to an agreement that everyone was happy with and Danny had a new team for the upcoming season. He tried to contain his excitement and not show it too much when saying his goodbyes to everyone, shaking the hands of each person in the room. It wasn't his first contract but he had the feeling this was something special, particularly after having to wait what felt like ages for an offer to come in. When he shook hands with Coach Belichick he told him how much he was looking forward to work with him which made Danny even prouder.  
“Me too, Mr. Belichick” Danny answered and then they were led outside by Paul again who walked them to the car that had already picked them up in the morning with the driver waiting for them.  
Prior to climbing into the back seat, Danny turned to Paul to thank him for the warm welcome, shaking his hands.  
“My pleasure Mr. Amendola. We are all looking forward to welcoming you here for the new season. Have a safe trip home.”  
Jim bid his farewell as well and then they were off, back to Boston.  
The first few minutes in the car where spent in silence until they looked at each other and started laughing.  
“I can't believe we came to an agreement so fast. I'm going to play for the Patriots next season, Jim! Thank you so much for everything!” Danny threw his arm around his agents shoulders in a half hug which made him laugh even harder.  
“Don't thank me Danny. You're brilliant on the field and now there finally is a team who realised and appreciates that. I just did the official stuff, the rest is all you!” Jim still had a big grin on his face when he looked at Danny who smiled back.  
“Well, whoever’s doing it was that I was able to sign this contract today, we're going to have a celebratory dinner tonight, my treat!” Danny said which had Jim cheering.  
“Yes! Free food is the way to my heart, you know that and take full advantage of it” He winked at Danny who shook his head, laughing happily.  
They asked their driver for any recommendations regarding restaurants whereon he drove them to a fancy looking place in down town Boston. The food was indeed amazing and Danny had felt bold enough to even order them a bottle of Champagne. After spending the evening in the restaurant, eating, drinking and talking about everything, they took a taxi to their hotel. Danny fell asleep quite quickly, the excitement of the day and the alcohol had left him exhausted. And if he had a nervous little tingling in his stomach since signing the contract, nobody needed to know.


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Danny had never been more nervous in his life. It was a few days after try outs and he was about to have his first training session with the team. He knew could do the football part, he was just afraid of Julian and his clique. The whole week they had made nasty comments towards him whenever he had crossed their path. It had even gone that far that Danny had started spending his breaks either in one of the toilets or the library just to avoid them. He knew it was stupid but he couldn't help it.  
Realising he was the last in the changing room he sighed, got up and walked outside to the field.  
The first half hour was ok, they started with warming up and stretching during which Danny kept his distance. Afterwards, they did some exercises for their positions and Danny couldn't believe how well it had went until then. Yet, he should have known that it would have been too good to be true that he had been left alone so far.  
For the last thirty minutes they did a little training game which made Danny feel like being in the try outs all over again. Julian was his Quarterback, meaning he either threw the ball when he was sure Danny wouldn't be able to catch it or he didn't throw it towards him at all. Even though his frustration grew, Danny stayed silent. He didn't want to raise attention to the fact that Julian wanted to make him look bad on purpose as that would only lead to more questions. Questions Danny wasn't nearly ready to answer.  
They finished the session and Danny left immediately, opting to take a shower at home instead of with the other guys. Up to now his training schedule would allow him to do this for a while which he was extremely thankful for. He knew that this would probably make his life even harder for him in the team though as the rest would assume he thought he was better than them. But at the moment, Danny couldn't be bothered, he wanted to escape the inevitable confrontation with Julian and his mates for as long as possible.

They had three more weeks until their first season game and every training session was more or less the same, Julian tried to make Danny look like an idiot. One and a half weeks into training though, Danny had a small momentum of success. Julian had missed two days of training due to illness so their second Quarterback Brian took over. He saw when Danny was free, threw him the ball at the right time which led to Danny having his best training sessions so far and even getting some praise from Coach Cowell.  
For the first time in weeks, the Texas native left the field with a good feeling and even stayed after practice, getting changed with the rest of the team and talking with some of them. As Julian's friends had still been at training though, it didn't take long for them to spoil Danny's happiness. Apparently, they had told Julian about the sessions so when Danny arrived at his locker a few days later, the other guy was back at school and waiting for him already.  
“Heard you were finally able to catch some balls in training!”   
Danny didn't even had to look at him to know that there was an evil smirk on Julian's face. He ignored him and instead got the things he needed for his first class out of his locker. The door slammed shut just as he had taken his last book out. He jumped a bit in surprise, looking at Julian who had his hand flat on the locker door, a scowl on his face.  
“Don't think you will play any game this year. I will not let this happen so you better watch your back!” With that he shoved Danny into the lockers and stormed off. Danny watched after him with confusion written all over his face. What had he done to the other guy to receive so much hate from him? Sighing deeply, he picked up his bag which had slipped from his shoulder and made his way to his first class which he had, of course, together with Julian.

If he had thought the first weeks had been bad regarding the bullying, he didn't know what to say about the days leading up to the game. Ever since the incident at his locker, Julian, Steve and Dean used every opportunity to mock him or make him feel bad. Whether it was during class when they muttered rude comments whenever Danny so much as stuttered through an answer or while being at training, tripping him on purpose or taking his stuff to throw around or hide.  
Julian was the worst of all and Danny suspected by now that Steve and Dean just went with it because of Julian. What made it even worse was that due to their behaviour towards him, the rest of the team mostly ignored him as well when it wasn't about something training or game related. It seemed like nobody really wanted to be on Julian's bad side which Danny could totally understand. It didn't make things easier for him though.  
Despite all of Julian's efforts however, he somehow made the starting line-up for the first game, much to Julian's annoyance. What upset the Quarterback even more was Coach Cowell calling him out during half time in front of the whole team for ignoring Danny on the field and therefore having thrown away a lot of balls, which led to quite an aggressive Julian during second half. On the field it was a good thing mostly, as he was definitely good at what he was doing, Danny had to admit that. After the game, however, he didn't hide the fact that he solely held Danny responsible for what happened in half time.  
A few days later at training, Danny was forced to take a shower there as he had a class afterwards. On these rare occasions, he always took as much time as possible so that the rest of the team were long gone when he came out of the shower. He didn't even care when that made him late for class, he just didn't want to change with the others.  
However, when Danny turned off the shower, he realised that his towel was gone. He immediately got a bad feeling in his stomach, knowing there could only be one reason for that. Carefully, he stepped out of the shower room into the main changing area, sighing when he saw it was empty. His relief didn't last long though, seeing that all his clothes as well as his bag were gone, too. Starting to panic, he sank down on the bench, still dripping wet, hiding his face in his hands. He was close to tears, refusing to believe that this was happening. Looking at the clock, he saw that class was still on for another twenty minutes.  
He searched through every locker, luckily finding some boxer shorts he put on, not thinking about who might have worn them before. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door, cautiously looking around. As no one was seen, Danny slowly made his way towards the exit to the parking lot. When he opened that door however, it felt like the whole school was standing outside, waiting just for him.  
He felt his cheeks starting to heat up, tears gathering in his eyes again. Keeping his gaze turned downwards while making his way to his car, he heard the laughter of the people watching him. There even was some catcalling as well as explicit comments being shouted from the crowd that had assembled around the parking lot. He arrived at his car to find a smirking Julian standing there, flanked by Steve and Dean of course, with his things in his hand.  
“Nice outfit, Texas!” The other guy said loudly, making the laughter from the crowd turn up again. Danny didn't say anything, he only took his stuff, got into his car and drove off.  
At home, he locked himself in his room, crying for hours over the humiliation he just had to endure. He couldn't believe that Julian had taken it that far. Thinking about calling Matt, he decided against it, not being able to admit that something as horrible as that had happened to him.  
Having no idea what he was supposed to do now, he soon fell asleep, exhausted from the embarrassment and the crying.  
The next day, Danny thought about skipping school but he didn't want to give that satisfaction to Julian. So he went to school, living through all the comments thrown at him and tried his best to hold his head high through all of it.

After this incident, the other guy mostly left him alone, surprisingly, at least regarding any more pranks. The verbal abuse increased, even though Danny had thought it couldn't get any worse than it already had been. On a daily basis, he now had to withstand nasty comments about the way he spoke, how he dressed or his behaviour in general. Thrown in between were also some insulting names like faggot, weirdo, retard or smart-ass, which were still the nicer ones.  
He still played during every game however, no matter how much Julian tried to prevent it. And even though that resulted in more bullying, Danny was in a strange way happy that he still got to play football through all of this. This way he was also able to keep up the pretences in front of his parents that everything was fine.

He made it to Thanksgiving break without any more significant incidents and then it wasn't long until school was over for Christmas. In his last season game just before the Christmas break he even was selected as MVP after catching two Touchdowns, managing a third one after a punt return in the late fourth quarter. He didn't care that this was mostly due to Julian missing the game with a cold, he was still proud of himself, especially as he knew that some recruiters from Texas Tech had been at the game, watching him.  
So despite how the year in general had went, he ended it on a positive note which gave him a good feeling for the first time in ages. Knowing that he didn't need to see any of his classmates for more than two weeks and the prospect of spending time with Matt who would be coming home for Christmas made it even better.


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

After returning home from Boston the day after signing the contract, the first thing he did was call his parents. They scolded him a bit for not telling them anything beforehand but were both delighted for him, especially as they were both originally from the Boston area. Next, he texted Matt as he wasn't sure where his brother was at the moment, him travelling a lot for his job so sometimes it was hard to keep track of him.  
He also thought about calling Craig, a former team mate, even though things were a bit strained between them lately and they haven’t seen each other since the end of the season. In the end, he decided against it as he hadn't really been in touch after the season ended, due to several reasons and not only because he had known he wouldn't be staying in St. Louis.  
He sighed as he didn't want to go down memory lane. Putting his phone on the kitchen counter, he headed towards his bedroom to change into running clothes. Exercising had always helped him to clear his head which was exactly what he needed now.

The next weeks were spent organising his move to Boston. He had went back four weeks after signing for the official announcement of him being a Patriot now as well as to go house hunting. Paul, whom he had been in constant contact with during the last weeks, had provided him with a list of properties close to the stadium. He looked at a few of them and eventually settled for a small house on the outskirts of Walpole, about twenty minutes’ drive from the stadium.  
Him having signed with the New England Patriots had caused a lot of media interest and almost daily Jim called him with another interview request from some newspaper or TV station. Danny declined them all as per agreement with the officials from the club, putting out a statement that he wanted to concentrate on settling down in Boston first, saying he was available for interviews as soon as pre-season started. He was quite happy about that as dealing with media definitely wasn't one of his favourite things that came with the job.  
Matt had visited him in his new house a few days after he moved in as he was in Boston for business anyway and emphasised repeatedly how proud he was of his little brother.  
He had asked him about the prospect of meeting Julian again but Danny had avoided that topic, saying he didn’t want to talk about it. Matt had tried several times as Danny would have to face this issue at one point, giving up when Danny refused repeatedly. In the end he just told him that he would be there for him if he needed him and that Danny could call him any time.  
Even Craig had contacted him after the news had gone public, congratulating him and saying how much he deserved it which made Danny feel bad about not texting him, back when he had come home from signing the contract. He promised to not be a stranger anymore even though both he and Craig knew that they would lose contact again eventually, the awkward silence during their call speaking volumes.  
His parents came to stay with him the three weeks before training camp started which he greatly appreciated as his nerves had started to get the better of him. He had spent a few hours at the stadium already, doing exercises and getting to know his way around as well as some of his team mates who were already back from holidays as well. Every time he arrived for a training session though, he had to take a deep breath to settle his nerves as he was afraid of meeting him. He knew that he probably wasn't back yet and that he had to meet him eventually but this knowledge helped nothing to make him feel calmer.  
So he tried to distract himself as best as he could by showing his parents around the stadium as well as his new home while they showed him their favourite spots around Boston from back when they were teenagers growing up here.

The first day of the preseason came around quicker than Danny had wished and so he found himself sitting in his car one morning, giving himself a mental pep talk. Today was the day he would come face to face with his past again and he didn't know how he would be able to survive this day. When several other players had already arrived he finally found the courage to get out of his car and enter the stadium. They were supposed to meet in the locker room and as Danny would be wearing the number eighty while he wore number eleven, he was quite happy to have a bit of distance between them. He sat at his locker, watching other players pile into the room, some of them greeting him as he had met them in the exercise room before. Stephen Gostkowski, their kicker whom he had been talking to quite a lot during the last weeks, had engaged him in a conversation so that he missed him entering the room. When he finally realised, he luckily couldn't spend too many thoughts on it as Coach Belichick came into the room, welcoming everyone to the new season. The coach gave them a quick outlook on how this day was going to go before Robert Kraft addressed a few words to them. Afterwards the new guys were supposed to introduce themselves which had Danny shake his leg nervously. Rob Gronkowski, who sat two lockers away from him, looked over and gave him a big grin. “Don't worry” he half whispered. “Here we only bite if you want us to!”  
Danny was so surprised by this that he joined in the quiet laughter from Rob and due to the distraction, he was able to introduce himself without messing up like he normally would have. He gave his fellow team mate a grateful smile but Rob just winked at him which made Danny blush a bit. All this was forgotten though when he saw who was coming towards him from the corner of his eyes. He looked around for an escape, even though he knew how stupid that would look but before he could even properly think about it, he was already standing in front of him.  
“Hey, I'm Julian. You're one of the new Wide Receiver, right?” He had outstretched his hand for Danny to shake and had an open, friendly smile on his face. Danny could only stare at him disbelievingly as he wasn't able to say anything, memories he thought he had long forgotten rushing through his mind.  
It was Gronk again, saving him from further embarrassment as he bumped into him while walking past, making Danny snap out of his trance.  
“Sorry bro!” the Tight End just shouted, already halfway to the other end of the room. Someone clearing his throat made him turn towards Julian again who looked at him with curious eyes.  
“Yeah, uhm sorry, ah, I'm Danny!” he face palmed internally while trying to force a smile on his face and keeping his blush at bay, taking Julian's hand to shake. He felt weird doing that especially as Julian seemed to have no clue who was standing in front of him.  
“Nice to meet you and welcome to the Patriots, you're going to like it here!” Julian smiled at him again and turned away before Danny could answer. He stood frozen to his spot for several moments until he was able to move again and introduced himself to some of the other players whom he hadn't met yet.  
Julian had been so nice, open and friendly and so different than how Danny remembered him which had left him confused.  
He wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad thing that Julian hadn't recognised him and he figured that only time would show him the answer to that. For now, he had to accept it the way it was, trying to deal with it as good as possible.


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

If Danny had thought that everything would be better in the New Year after the positive ending of the last one, he had been painfully wrong.  
Already on the first day back in school, Julian let him know that nothing had changed by tripping him when he made his way to his seat for the first class. Danny stumbled and was just about able to catch himself so he didn't fall, trying to blank out the laughter from the people who had seen it. Ever since the incident where Julian had taken his clothes, no one spoke to him anymore, not even the ones he had been friendly with before.  
“Well well well” Julian said nonchalantly. “Don't know how you managed to be voted MVP in the last game with these two left feet!”  
Dean and Steve snickered along with a few others in the room. Danny ignored them all as best as he could, keeping his eyes firmly on the desk in front of him.  
He had been in quite a good mood as Matt was still home and would be until the beginning of February. Despite him being scared that his brother would catch on to what was going on, Danny was looking forward to spending more time with him and didn't want to have his excitement be spoilt by Julian.  
Being saved from further comments for now by his teacher, Mr. Payton, entering the room, he knew that this hadn't been the last encounter of the day as he had three more classes with the other guys.  
Later that day, Danny was on his way to the library for his lunch break when the trio approached him. He cursed himself under his breath for always taking the quiet side corridors. Dean was the one to shove him first which Danny had kind of expected.  
“You are lucky that I wasn't here the week before Christmas break!” Julian stepped right in front of him with a big grin, where Dean was holding him up by his collar, pressing him to the wall. “Otherwise this would have happened a lot sooner.”  
With that he stepped back, nodding towards Steve who punched him in the stomach with quite some force. Danny almost doubled over from pain if it wasn't for Dean still holding him up.  
“I hope this will keep the self-satisfied smile you're wearing on your MVP picture of your face and will teach you a lesson.” Julian said, spitting in his face while Steve threw two more punches at him. Dean pushed him to the floor and the three of them turned to walk away. Danny held his stomach in pain, staying crouched on the floor. He needed a few minutes until he was able to get up and dragged himself to the library where he remained for the rest of the day. He knew he was being a coward and that this would only give satisfaction to Julian but he couldn't face anyone today anymore.  
Five minutes before the last period ended he walked to his car, his lower abdomen still hurting which had him hunched down a bit.  
On his way home he prayed that Matt wouldn't be there as he would be able to immediately see that something was wrong. Fortunately, he arrived to an empty house so he just went up to his room and laid on his bed, trying to keep pressure from his stomach.  
The remainder of the week went kind of the same, Julian, Steve and Dean using every opportunity to mock or physically harm him. Danny tried his best to hide it at home even though he received a few worried glances from Matt when he couldn't help but groan in pain when stretching too much while catching a pass while they played some football in their back garden. For now, he stayed quite though.

It was the first Saturday in February and he was at home with Matt when the call came that Texas Tech was offering him a full football scholarship for the upcoming college year. First, he couldn't believe it but when the guy on the other end of the phone repeated his words, they slowly started to sink in.  
Danny thanked him and hung up.  
Turning around he grinned at his older brother. “Texas Tech accepted me! Matt, I'm going to College, playing football so I'll be able to pursue a career in professional football!” He shook his head disbelievingly, the grin not leaving his face, threatening to split it in half from how wide it was.  
Matt let out a loud cheer: “Oh my god Danny, that's awesome! I always knew you would make it. I can't believe my little brother will be a famous Wide Receiver, I'm so proud of you!”  
He took the few steps between them towards Danny, gathering him up in a tight hug.  
Even though he tried, Danny wasn't able to suppress the wince leaving his mouth when Matt pressed against his bruised body. Matt let him go and gave him a questioning look which Danny just answered with a shrug.  
He was saved from the inevitable questions by his parents coming in through the front door, calling out for them. The look Matt gave him however told him that he wouldn't be leaving it at that.  
“What's going on here boys?” His father asked, looking between them.  
“Well, I guess you will be in Texas more often again the upcoming years if you want to see your youngest son.” Danny tried to hide his smile for a second, failing miserably. “I just received a call that Texas Tech is offering me a full football scholarship!”  
He couldn't make out what his parents said as they were both talking over themselves, congratulating him and pulling him to hugs, his mum even several times as she was just so proud of him. When they all had calmed down a bit, his dad announced that this called for a family night out which had them all cheering again. So a little later in the evening, they went to a nice restaurant and Danny enjoyed the night out with his family, feeling truly happy.  
As expected though, as soon as they were back home, Matt followed him to his room, sat down on his bed and looked at Danny expectantly. Danny ignored him, plopping down on his desk chair, his back towards his brother and opened a textbook from one of his classes. He didn't have any intentions of actually studying, he just wanted to avoid the inevitable conversation with Matt for as long as he could. For a few minutes, neither of them said anything until Matt sighed.  
“Ok, as you obviously won't say anything yourself, I have to ask you. What happened? And don't even think about lying to me, I know something is wrong it was painfully obvious earlier. Has it to do with the bullying? Are they still coming at you? As you have never mentioned it again I kind of assumed they had backed off a little?”  
Danny heard Matt shuffle on his bed but didn't dare turn around to face him. For a moment, he seriously thought about making up some excuses even though he knew that Matt would be able to see right through them, he always had. So he slumped his shoulders in defeat but couldn't bring himself to talk about it just yet. So he merely lifted up his shirt a bit, letting Matt see the bruises littering his whole upper body. Hearing Matt gasp at the sight made tears shoot into Danny's eyes and before he knew it, he was full on sobbing.  
He felt Matt arms wrap around him carefully, his hand running up and down his back soothingly. They stayed like that for several moments, Matt letting Danny cry and Danny enjoying the comfort from his big brother. At this moment he was glad that they had always been close.  
When Danny had calmed down and the tears had stopped streaming down his cheeks, Matt moved them to his bed, staying in the embrace while lowering them onto it in a half sitting, half lying position. He gently placed Danny's head on his shoulder, his fingers starting to comb through his younger brothers hair.  
“Tell me what happened Danny, everything!” Despite his tone being calm and gentle, Danny knew that Matt wouldn't accept a “No” anymore now.  
So Danny took a deep breath and started telling Matt what had been going on the last few months. He told him how the verbal attacks had gotten worse from week to week even though he had made it on the team. How Julian seemed to constantly be angry at him while Danny had no idea why. He lived through the embarrassment of the locker room incident again, having to stop himself several times to keep from breaking down.  
When he told Matt about the first time they had punched him a few weeks ago, he felt his arms tighten around him but Matt stayed quiet, continuing to listen to Danny.  
“Do you remember when I called you to tell you I was voted MVP in the last game of the season?” Danny asked which had Matt chuckling slightly.  
“Of course I do, you called me even though I was due to arrive here the next day anyway.”  
Smiling a bit himself, Danny nodded. “I knew that but I was so happy that I wanted you to know immediately!”  
“And I was so proud of you, hating that I hadn't been able to be there, celebrating with you.” Matt said, sadness and a hint of guilt in his voice.  
“It's ok, I know you were happy for me, that's all that mattered.” Danny mumbled and they fell into a short silence.  
“Well” Danny raised his voice again. “That was kind of the beginning of all this!” He gestured down his body and Matt's jaw tightened.  
“They waited for me during lunch break on the first day back at school, after having made loads of comments throughout the day already. Julian was livid, telling me that if he had been at school that week it would have already had happened back then and that was the first time they seriously beat me up.”  
His voice cracked slightly but he carried on anyway, he needed to get this all out now.  
“Since then, they are waiting for me almost every day and when I try to avoid them or they don't get an opportunity one day, the next time will only be worse. So by now, I just let it happen!” Danny admitted while tears had started rolling downs his face again.  
“God D, why haven't you said something earlier?” Matt sounded sad as well as a bit angry, pulling Danny closer again.  
“Would it have changed anything except making you worry about me?” The younger one mumbled quietly but Matt had heard him anyway.  
“No, probably not.” His big brother answered defeated. “I feel bad though you had to go through all of this alone, that I wasn't there for you like I should have been!”  
“It's ok Matt!” Danny tried to reassure him.  
“No it's not D!” Matt almost shouted which had Danny tensing up.  
“Sorry, I'm sorry Danny,” the other one said immediately, starting to rub his back again. “It's just, I feel like I let you down you know. You shouldn't have to deal with these idiots at all, especially not by yourself. You have to tell someone!”  
“No!” Now it was Danny's turn to get loud. “I can't tell anyone, it'll only make it worse! I told you what happened after Coach Cowell called him out because of me so I don't want to know what happens when I tell someone about this. Please Matt, you have to promise me you won't tell anyone, please!” Danny had turned to face his brother, looking at him pleadingly. He could see the struggle going on inside Matt but then the older one dropped his head dejectedly.  
“I'm not happy with this Danny and I only agree to this when you promise to call me every time something happens or if it gets worse ok?”  
He looked him straight in the eyes and even though Danny didn't really want to commit to that, he nodded. As long as it kept Matt from telling someone what was going on he would do almost everything.

After their little talk, Matt kept a close eye on Danny the whole week he was still home, until he had to return to college the Sunday after the weekend Danny had received the call from Texas Tech.  
Before leaving, he reminded Danny that he gave his word to call him whenever he needed to. Danny agreed but not without having Matt promise again as well that he wouldn't let anyone know what they had been talking about. They hugged each other tightly, saying their goodbyes and Danny watched silently while Matt pulled their parents into an embrace before walking to his car, speeding off with a wave.  
Because of Matt being there as well as receiving confirmation from Texas Tech, Danny had spent the last few weeks in the best mood ever. Now though, he wasn't really looking forward to going back to school again, knowing Matt wouldn't be there every day to pick him up. It may have been due to that fact as well that Julian's attacks had been less frequent recently but Danny figured as soon as the other guy realised Matt was gone, they would increase again.  
He made it through Monday and Tuesday just fine, only having to listen to the usual comments. On Wednesday, his luck had seemed to run out though. As he didn't have any friends, no one knew yet that he had received a scholarship from Texas Tech and he wanted to keep it like that for as long as possible.  
His sociology teacher, Mr. Payne, seemed to have a different idea on Wednesday morning however. They were casually talking about options after High School when Mr. Payne looked at him and said: “Oh Danny, congratulations by the way, I heard Texas Tech offered you a full football scholarship for the upcoming year?”  
He heard a few people gasp in surprise and felt his face heat up.  
“Uhm, yes Mr. Payne, that's correct, thank you.” Danny tried to return the smile his teacher had on his lips but had the feeling he was failing miserably.  
“Well done but I mean everyone who saw your last game knows you deserve it, you were brilliant out there!” His teacher praised him and Danny just wanted him to shut up. So he just nodded, his eyes trained on a spot on his desk.  
Fortunately for him, his teach dropped the subject at that and continued talking about college options with the rest of the class.  
When the bell rang to signal the end of this period, Danny couldn't get out of the room fast enough. Later that day, he spent his lunch in the library, as usual, trying to finish an essay for his English class. When he left at the end of the break, he immediately saw Julian, Dean and Steve who were standing a few feet away from the entrance. Danny kept his eyes down, pretending to not have seen them but he already heard them coming towards him. He really needed to find a new hiding place for his breaks, Danny thought when he was pushed into the nearest toilet a few metres away. Dean’s arm came up to his chest to hold him against the wall.  
“So I heard you received a football scholarship?” Julian stepped in front of him, staring in his eyes angrily.  
Danny sighed. Of course someone had told Julian, why had he expected to keep it a secret from him? Just because he hadn't been in the class where it had been mentioned didn't mean he wouldn't hear about it.  
Before he could dwell on this for longer though, he felt a blow across his cheek, his head snapping to the side from the force and his hand coming up immediately to cover it, eyes wide open in surprise. This had been the first time Julian himself had put a hand on him as well as the hit being somewhere obvious and not just on his upper body. He looked at Julian whose face was twisted with anger, hate and some weird satisfaction.  
“Well, you didn't expect that now, did you?” the other guy snarled at him. “The good thing about this is, I don't have to see your face any longer, the bad news for you is that they will soon enough realise that you're not worth anything, pathetic loser!” Spitting the last words out, he chuckled evilly and then turned around with the words “Do what you have to do” directed at Steve and Dean and before Danny had even realised the meaning behind them, he already felt the punches raining down on him. He slid to the ground, not able to keep on his feet anymore, trying to shield his body as much as he could from kicks the two bigger guys attacked him with until he blacked out.  
When he woke again, he didn't know where he was for a second but when moving to sit up sent a deep pain shooting through his body, the memories came rushing back.  
Forcing himself not to cry, he dragged himself to his feet to slowly start walking out of the building to his car. He didn't care what time it was or if he still had classes to go to, he just wanted to be home.  
Arriving home, he ignored his mum calling him from the kitchen, praying she wouldn't come out. Therefore he went upstairs immediately, claiming to have a headache so he didn't have to explain anything to his mum as he was sure he had traces of what had happened on his face.  
Upstairs, he went straight to his bathroom, taking a first look at his face. He had dried blood at the corner of his mouth were his lip was busted as well as on his cheek and his left eye was starting to turn a few shades darker already, meaning he would be sporting a black eye for the next few days.  
Feeling completely blank and numb he cleaned his face, drying it carefully afterwards. While undressing, he pulled his phone from his pocket, seeing that it was only four in the afternoon but didn't care when climbing under the sheets of his bed. He had his phone still in his hand and for a split second he thought about calling Matt, like he had promised to do when something like this happened. Throwing his phone away angrily, he shook his head. How wimpy was he? Needing to call his big brother after he was gone for two days because he couldn't handle life on his own? He wiped away the tears that had started streaming down his face furiously. Julian was right, he was a pathetic loser.  
Spending the next few days at home, telling his mum a lie about him bumping into his locker and therefore having a black eye as well as a headache, he buried himself in his room. He even thought about if he could afford to skip the rest of the school year which was still a bit more than three months, coming to the conclusion that he would have to go back at some point.  
So come Monday, he dragged himself to school, praying that nothing would happen. Surprisingly, Julian and his entourage really left him alone. When he entered the room for his first class and made it to his seat without any incident or even a bad comment, he thought he was dreaming. But throughout the whole day, the other guys didn't pay him any attention which left Danny with an uneasy feeling that this was just the calm before the storm.  
When the rest of the week, as well as the next and the one following, was the same though, Danny slowly started to believe that nothing would happen anymore. He wondered briefly if they had realised that their last attack had gone too far but in the end he couldn't care less as to what had made them stop, he was just glad they had.  
However, when the end of the school year came around and he finally managed to get through his last day, Danny felt beyond relieved. He didn't even go to his graduation party, instead opting for preparing everything for his move back to Texas.  
He left on a Tuesday evening in the middle of June without sparing one glance back, focussing solely on starting college and hopefully reaching his end goal, a career in the NFL.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Starting college was totally different than Danny had expected. Due to his history of being bullied he had kind of anticipated for it to go on or at least thought he would be the outcast again. On his first day, however, he realised that here, he definitely had a chance to start new. Everyone in his year was new, obviously, and as he was back in Texas it wasn't him with the 'strange' accent. On the football team they had a healthy competition but as they all had the same long-term goal in mind, they worked together instead of hating each other.  
Within the first few weeks he had made more friends than during his whole life. But despite people being extremely friendly, open and helpful, Danny still had problems to trust people and let them in his life entirely though. It wasn't only his quiet nature that kept him from letting someone come too close but also a small voice in the back of his head that told him this all was too good to be true. He also had started to have nightmares a while back because of what had happened in California and he didn't want anyone to find out about that, about how weak he actually was.  
However, he had a small group from the team whom he was quite close to. He even had gone to several campus parties with them and they had regular nights out, going to the movies or to the pub.  
The group consisted of Cody, one of their Quarterbacks, Peter, Thomas, Brian and Louis and they always spend their lunch breaks together. Louis was something close to his best friend, the one he was closest to and knew the most about him, even though it wasn't much.

“Hey D, you're still with us?” Danny's head snapped up, looking around slightly confused until he realised they were in the canteen as it was their lunch break.  
“Yeah sorry, just a bit tired” Danny said, trying to put on a convincing smile which obviously failed. Cody looked at him with a raised eyebrow as well as Brian and Peter, clearly not believing him.  
“You are always tired lately”, Louis observed, concern evident in his voice. The others nodded consentingly like they thought the same. “Is something wrong?”  
Danny felt himself squirm uncomfortably under their gazes.  
“Nah, don't worry everything's fine. Just still struggling to adjust to college life you know?” he said, hoping that this sounded at least a bit plausible.  
Satisfied with that answer all of them, except Louis, turned away going back to the conversation they had. Louis, however, was still looking at him with these eyes as if he knew that there was more.  
“What?” Danny asked self-consciously.  
“Nothing” Louis shook his head, a short expression of disappointment on his face. “You can talk to me, yeah?”  
“I know, thanks, but there’s nothing to talk about, really!” Danny reassured Louis, hoping the other guy would leave it at that. He received another sceptical look yet luckily, Louis didn’t say anything else.  
He went home for Thanksgiving a week later, enjoying the time with his family and for the first time being able to tell about his friends back at college. He saw the fond look on his mums face one evening while he was telling a story about the party after their latest game and realised that she had been worried about him all the time. This just confirmed to him again that it had been a good decision not to tell her anything about the bullying.  
The night before he was due to go back to college however, he had a particularly bad nightmare. He woke up to Matt shaking his shoulder, scrambling back scared until he realised who it was.  
“Danny, Danny, calm down, hey it’s ok, it’s just me, Matt!” He heard the soothing voice of his brother but needed a moment to actually accept that it had just been a dream and not real.  
Matt let him catch his breath, running his hand down his back in an attempt to calm him down.  
When his breathing had returned to normal and he was able to look at Matt again he saw concern written all over Matt's face.  
“It was just a nightmare, don’t worry”, Danny tried to tell him but Matt didn’t buy it.  
“Sure Danny, try tell that someone else, if it was ‘just a nightmare’ you wouldn’t have been so afraid of me before you realised it who I was. You made a promise a few months back that you would tell me if something happens remember? So tell me, did you lie to mum about everything being so great at college?” Matt looked at him expectantly and Danny knew he wouldn’t leave him until he told him everything.  
“No I didn’t lie about it, I actually made friends in college, believe it or not!” Danny snapped, regretting it immediately. Matt sighed but before he could say anything Danny continued.  
“It’s still from what happened in California. The nightmares started already back then but weren’t that bad or frequent so I didn’t say anything.”  
Matt nodded, confusion written all over his face though. “Ok but I thought they had stopped at some point?”  
Danny swallowed hard, suppressing tears that gathered in his eyes just from the memory, whispering: “They did, yes, but not before they beat me unconscious.”  
“What?” Matt yelled, eyes wide in horror. “They did what?”  
Danny sighed and told Matt about the day Julian found out about his scholarship.  
When he ended, his older brother was raging. “These little shits, they can be glad that we are not in California at the moment, I would sort them out for sure.”  
“No you wouldn’t that would make you just as bad as them.” Danny said quietly. “Also it’s over now so no need to dwell on it any longer.”  
“But Danny you are obviously still suffering from that! Someone needs to give them a telling-off. Who knows if they are still doing that to someone else?”  
Danny knew that Matt tried to guilt trap him into talking to someone but he refused, he just wanted to forget everything. After a bit of arguing Matt gave in.  
“Ok Danny, I understand where you’re coming from. Anyway, you need to talk to someone. Someone who can help you come to terms with these incidents.”  
“You mean a therapist?” Danny asked sceptically. “I’m not crazy, Matt!”  
“I know that D, but as I said, you need someone to help you work through this. You told me that these nightmares have become worse and that you hardly sleep a night through. How long do you think you are still able to keep going like this?”  
Danny stubbornly crossed his arms over his chest. Yes, he might have problems sleeping that didn’t mean he needed therapy though.  
Matt realised that he was talking against a wall at the moment, so he let it go after a few more minutes trying to convince Danny that it was a good idea.  
“Just think about it, ok?” Matt asked in a last attempt, sighing when he saw Danny merely shrugging.  
“Ok, whatever. You think you’re good to go back to sleep?” Even though they had been arguing for the last half hour, Danny still heard the concern in his brothers’ voice.  
He nodded and looked at Matt, trying to smile at Matt to tell him he still appreciated the effort he made. “Yeah, I think I’m good, thanks anyway.”  
“Good, well then, good night!”  
“Yeah, good night!”  
After returning to college Danny pushed the thoughts about his conversation with Matt to the back of his head, continuing life as normal. When the dreams slightly changed into a direction Danny didn’t even want to think about, he busied himself with learning for finals as well as practice for the last games of the season. He had mainly been the Punt Returner for the team this season but he was happy enough to even play and his coaches assured him that he would play a bigger role in the offensive plays the next season.  
During Christmas break Matt didn’t mention anything about the nightmares anymore which Danny was grateful for, even though they were affecting him in even worse ways by now as they were not just about the attacks anymore. Danny, however, found himself thinking about it almost daily now.  
It was on a Tuesday night in mid-January where Matt and Danny were on their own as their parents had some work event from his dad they attended.  
The two of them were spread out over the couch, watching some movie Danny couldn’t remember when an advertisement with a gay couple came on.  
Before he could stop himself, Danny blurted out: “I think I’m gay!”  
Matt spluttered, spitting out half of the Coke he had been drinking. “What?”  
When Danny realised what he had just said his head turned a bright red. He had been thinking about this for a while now but never really allowed his thoughts to go that far. Saying it out loud to Matt now felt scary but also strangely relieving. He glanced at Matt who was staring at him, clearly surprised by his outburst.  
“I’m gay” Danny repeated confidently now, shifting his eyes back to the TV screen even though not really registering anything playing there. “I thought about it for some time now and it’s kind of obvious isn’t it?” Even if he had wanted to, he couldn’t help the words spilling out of him now. ”I’ve never had a girlfriend even though I turned nineteen this year and also have never been interested in any girl. Whenever I thought about a possible relationship I never imagined it with a girl, it was always a neutral person I imagined myself with but lately it’s always been a guy. On every party I’ve been to so far, I was never turned on by any of the girls with their short skirts and tight dresses, I found myself rather looking at some of the guys who wore tight jeans and V-neck shirts. And if that’s not a dead give-away already, the other week we were at some party where two girl started making out with each other and all guys were watching, obviously turned on by it while it did nothing to me.”  
Danny finished, breathless from his little rant.  
Matt had muted the TV in the meanwhile and turned to face Danny. “Ok Danny, you seem to have put a lot of thought into this already?” Danny nodded in confirmation.  
“And you’re absolutely sure it’s not just a phase?” It was obvious that Matt didn’t exactly now how to react to what Danny had just said which had the younger one scoffing.  
“Yes Matt, I am. Wouldn’t you be sure if all of a sudden you start thinking about wanting to kiss your best friend?” Danny asked sarcastically.  
“Ok ok, I just wanted to check as you never said anything like that before” Matt gave in, holding his hands up conciliatorily. For a moment they sat in silence, Danny worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, not really sure what Matt thought about his revelation.  
“Uhm, are you ok with this?” Danny asked cautiously after a few minutes, not daring to look at his brother.  
“What? Yes, sure I’m ok with that, you’re my brother, what are you thinking?” Matt sounded astonished but also a bit hurt by Danny’s words.  
“Don't know” Danny shrugged. “As you said we never talked about something like that and this came somewhat sudden so I don't know...!”  
“Danny listen to me, no matter what you're always going to be my brother. If you are gay, no problem, if you realise it was just a phase, also ok. I'm always going be there to support you, ok? And if a guy makes you happy who would I be to judge that?” Matt smiled at him and Danny couldn't help himself. He got up and pulled his brother in a tight embrace.  
“Thank you” he whispered. “You're the best big brother anyone could ever ask for!”  
“Well, I'm also the only brother you have so how are you able to say I'm the best if you have no one to compare me to?” Matt chuckled but tighten his arms around Danny.  
“Idiot” Danny mumbled fondly.  
After they separated and both were in their previous spots on the couch, volume of the TV turned up again Matt looked over to Danny.  
“So tell me about your crush on your best friend” laughing kindly.  
“Oh shut up!” Danny laughed back, throwing a pillow at his brother, knowing everything would be fine.

Back at college he acted normally, as if he hadn't made a life changing realisation during his Christmas break.   
He had finished his football year as the main Punt Returner for the team and was named to the All-Big 12 Conference First Team as a return specialist which made him proud as he had been the only true freshman on the field that season, the first since Wes Welker.   
His crush on Louis had kind of subsided and he suspected it had just been because of him realising that he was more attracted to men than women. Even though the nightmares were still there, and also still had a strange turning point sometimes, he had the feeling that his life was finally going into a direction he liked and could be proud of. 

The breakdown came at the beginning of the second year when Julian's name came up in the college football sports news as he transferred from the College of San Mateo to Kent State University. Danny saw a picture of Julian on the Internet and all the memories came rushing back to him. The first two weeks of lectures he hardly slept which he could deal with but when he collapsed at training one day, even Danny ascertained that it couldn't go on like this.   
After a long phone conversation with Matt he agreed to see the college counsellor.   
On Matt’s advice, he also talked to Louis about why he had these nightmares and what had caused his breakdown. His friend reacted how a friend should react and definitely not how Danny had imagined such a talk to go. Louis didn't pity him too much but also didn't look down at him for being weak. He also assured Danny that if he needed someone to talk to he would be happy to listen which made Danny think about coming out to him at some point.  
First, he had to get through his first session with Dr. Brennan, the school counsellor, though.   
Opposing to his expectations, it felt good to talk to someone about it who wasn't biased.  
They agreed to meet once every week and seven weeks into their meetings he even felt comfortable enough to tell her that he was gay.   
She only smiled at him, nodded and said that she had kind of figured that out already.   
For some reason he wasn't really surprised about that and by now he was quite comfortable with himself as also his nightmares had begun to torture him less frequently. However, he still hadn't had the guts to come out to his friends. It wasn't only due to the fact that he still wasn't sure if he could trust them with that but also because he knew he had to be careful with this regarding a possible career in the NFL. His team mates now might not mind that much but if he was to become a professional football player, he couldn't risk that this was common knowledge.

Therefore it wasn't until his summer break between his sophomore and junior year that he actually acted out on this. He had visited Matt at his college in Florida as he had to stay a bit longer for some project he had to finish while Danny was already done for the year.   
Matt had taken him to a beach party of one of his friends but had left him on his own not even ten minutes after arriving. Danny had wandered around the party for a while, grabbing a beer before sitting down a few metres away to watch the sea. It had taken him a few minutes to realise someone had sat down next to him, only acknowledging the others presence when he spoke.  
“Nice party, isn't it?”  
Danny turned his head to look at the guy casually sitting next to him, his own beer bottle in hand and just shrugged.  
The guy chuckled. “You don't talk much, do you?”   
Blushing, Danny looked away.   
“It's ok, I sometimes definitely talk too much and it's nice to enjoy the silence together. I'm Kyle by the way.”  
“Danny” the Texas native mumbled which had Kyle humming in acknowledgement.  
“What brings you here Danny?” Kyle sounded genuinely curious so Danny found himself answering even though it wasn’t very typical for him.  
“I'm visiting my brother, Matt, he goes to college here and had to stay a bit longer. I'm in college in Texas and already finished for the summer so he asked me if I wanted to come over for a few weeks before we go home together.”  
“Your brother Matt?” Kyle asked, obviously trying to put a name to the face.  
“Yeah, Matt Amendola, the small guy over there” Danny pointed towards a group around the barbecue who Matt was obviously telling an exciting story to the others.  
Kyle followed his gaze and then his face lit up in recognition.  
“Oh yeah, I know him, kind of. Think we had a lecture together last year or something, nice guy but not as nice as his brother.” Kyle looked at him and winked, which had Danny blushing again.  
“How long will you be here?”  
“Another two weeks.”  
Kyle hummed again, a thoughtful look on his face.  
“Listen, I have to go now but I would really like to see you again. Mind if we swap numbers and I give you a call tomorrow, see if we can meet somewhere?” Kyle smiled at him openly and Danny thought that he was kind of cute. So he swallowed down all his shyness and fear and nodded.  
“Sure, why not? Matt has to do something at college anyway so I could use some distraction from the boredom.” He internally asked himself if he was actually seriously flirting at the moment which the growing smile on the other guys face kind of confirmed.  
“So I'm just going to be someone that saves you from dying of boredom?”  
“Well, I'm sure you have other talents, too but for the beginning that would be great already.” Danny felt his cheeks heating up again after realising how you could interpret his sentence.  
Kyle just laughed handing him his phone to put in his number. “Ok we'll see about that, for now I had more thought about taking you to the beach or something.” He winked again and took back his phone, sending a quick text to Danny so he had his number as well.  
“It was nice to meet you Danny, I'm looking forward to seeing you again tomorrow!” Kyle leaned over to him, gave him a kiss on the cheek and then got up and left, leaving a stunned Danny behind.  
“Yeah, see you tomorrow” the young Texan answered, touching his cheek, when Kyle was long gone.  
When he told Matt about that later he was delighted for him.  
“Kyle is a great guy though I didn't know he was gay. But good for you and at least I don't have to worry about you while I'm gone.” He grinned, ruffling Danny's hair.  
The younger one huffed: “As if couldn't take care of myself.”  
“I know you can” Matt appeased him, still grinning. “I just feel better knowing you're not sitting around in my flat not knowing what to do but having someone to show you around a bit.”

The next morning he received a text from Kyle, asking if they wanted to meet up outside Matt’s dorm in two hours. Danny agreed, relieved that Kyle would pick him up as he wouldn't have had a clue how to get anywhere as he'd only been there for a few days.  
Even though this was kind of his first date ever he wasn't feeling too nervous yet.   
This changed however about one hour later when he started to get ready. He had went through all of the clothes he brought already, not finding anything decent he could wear.   
He shot a desperate text to Matt who, of course, didn't answer and dejectedly sank to the floor of Matt’s room, surveying the chaos he had created. Sighing he picked up a white shirt that was a bit tighter than his usual ones along with some dark jeans shorts. He put them on and looked at himself in the mirror, deeming himself somewhat presentable. Not bothering with his hair he put on a snap back, throwing a glance at his phone and realising that he would meet Kyle in less than fifteen minutes.  
He went to the bathroom to brush his teeth again and then started pacing Matt's room. Had this really been a good idea? He hardly knew that guy and was he even ready for a date? Shaking his head he tried to calm his nerves. He was twenty years old, turning twenty-one in a few months, of course he was ready to have dates. The ringing of his phone made him snap out of his thoughts and kept him from driving himself crazy. He looked at it, seeing that it was a text from Kyle saying he was waiting outside.  
Taking a deep breath Danny left the room and went downstairs to meet the other guy.  
Despite all his worries, they had a great time together. Kyle took him to the pier, bought ice cream for him and even though they were both in their early twenties it didn't feel weird to go on a date like two teenagers.  
He enjoyed himself a lot and didn't realise how time was flying. Kyle was funny, smart and very flirtatious which Danny first had to get used to but liked a lot.  
When the sun already started setting, they walked back to Matt’s dorm.   
“I had a great day” Danny admitted when they had reached the building.  
“Me too” Kyle answered, looking Danny straight in the eyes.  
Danny felt his breath catch in his throat when he saw Kyle moving closer to him and his stomach fluttered. The older guy moved his hand to Danny's cheek, looking at him as if to confirm this was ok for Danny as well before he closed the last distance between them, connecting his lips with Danny's.  
Danny automatically closed his eyes and moved a tiny step towards Kyle. This seemed to have been the last assurance Kyle had needed as he wrapped his arms around Danny, deepening the kiss.   
When they pulled apart they were both breathless and Danny cheeks had a rosy colour.  
“I will see you tomorrow?” Kyle asked and Danny could only nod, not trusting his voice just yet. Kyle grinned happily, pecking his lips again and then turned to leave: “I can't wait, Danny!”  
Standing there dumbstruck, Danny needed a few moments to process what just had happened. Then his face broke out into a huge grin and he almost skipped up the stairs to Matt’s room.  
His brother sat on the couch, looking up when Danny entered.  
“Judging from the shit eating grin and the fact that you spent the whole day with Kyle, I assume it was good?” Matt laughed at Danny before he even took of his shoes.  
Danny threw himself on the couch next to Matt, face almost hurting now because of how big his smile was.  
“It was very good, we had a lot of fun” Danny beamed adding quietly: “He kissed me goodbye and we already made plans for tomorrow.”  
He felt himself blush when Matt turned to him with a surprised look.  
“Good on you little brother” Matt cheered, making Danny blush even more. “No seriously, I’m happy you enjoyed yourself, do you need condoms for tomorrow?”  
“Maaattt” Danny whined, throwing a pillow at his brothers’ smirking face.  
“What, as you’re older brother I have to make sure you’re safe, don’t I?”  
Danny buried his face in his hands in mock despair yet couldn’t hide the still wide smile on his lips.  
Danny spent the rest of his stay either with Kyle or with Matt, sometimes they even went out together. He liked Kyle a lot but also knew that this was just a holiday fling so when he had to go back to Texas he was a bit sad but not heart broken. They promised to stay in touch also both of them knew that it was highly unlikely that this would happen.

His last two years of college passed rather uneventful. He became a constant starter on the team as a Wide Receiver from his third year on and had his best year during his senior. He was constantly compared to Wes Welker which wasn’t the worst thing ever happening to him either. He graduated with a major in Communication Studies and even though he was invited to the NFL Scouting Combine he wasn’t drafted which left him devastated, already looking at different options.  
After receiving a call from the Dallas Cowboys though in April 2008 he spent that season on their practice squad, transferring to Philadelphia a year later before the St. Louis Rams signed him the following September.  
With all this moving around and not having made the starting line-up on any team yet, his confidence issues kind of flared up again. Even after arriving in St. Louis and being a real part of the team didn’t help much as he only got to start in two games. He didn’t have much contact to any team mates outside of practice and game days and buried himself in his house.  
The 2010 season started off a lot better for him professionally as well as personally.  
Following the advice of his therapist, which he had started seeing during off season, Danny spent more time with the other players, finally getting to know them and making a few friends.  
Craig, one of their Safeties, however, was a whole different story. They talked a lot, realising they had quite some things in common and Danny couldn’t deny the attraction he felt towards the other guy. Trying to suppress these developing feelings he just enjoyed the time they spent together and became very close very fast. The rest of team kind of mocked them a bit with that, all friendly banter though, yet Danny couldn’t help but blush every time someone referred to Craig and him bickering like an old married couple.  
Until the end of November he thought he did quite well with hiding his feelings, when on the weekend of their game in Denver, Danario, a fellow Wide Receiver, approached him on the plane.   
He had sat next to him, asking if Danny had a minute. The Texas native had nodded, a nervous feeling rising in his stomach as if he knew that he wouldn’t like where this was going.  
Danario had talked a lot about general things in the team to a point where Danny was struggling to keep up. Then, all of a sudden Danario had looked at him and asked: “Are you and Craig together?”  
Danny had spluttered, almost spitting out the water he had just drank, feeling his face heat up.  
“What?” He had croaked, looking at Danario with wide eyes.  
The younger guy had shrugged, watching Danny with curious eyes. “You're always together and seem very close, I was just wondering...”  
Danny needed to swallow hard, thinking about what to say. He knew deep down that his feelings weren't purely friendly anymore but he had never allowed his thoughts to even slightly go into this direction.   
“I...” he started, not really knowing what to say. Danario just smiled. “Well, I guess your reaction says more than words could.” He winked at Danny who didn't know what to think about that. Was Danario making fun of him or was that his way of saying that it was ok?  
As if his team mate could read his mind he continued: “I don't know why you're fighting this Danny, when I look at Craig he obviously feels the same for you. You're probably scared of what the team thinks but can I tell you something? Most of us figured it out already anyway and we don't care. The ones who do care won't bother you, trust me.”  
Danny had searched Danario’s eyes for anything that would tell him the younger one was joking but he only saw honesty and a bit of serious concern.  
He had cleared his throat, shifting his eyes to his hands in his lap when he replied: “I'm not scared about the team, I'm scared about being rejected. How can you know he has the same feelings? And even is he has that doesn't mean he is ready for having a secret relationship with someone, it would cause too many problems. I don't know if I'm ready for that.”  
Danario had shifted next to him to put his hand on his shoulder.   
“If you don't try you never know. It's obvious that you're hurting at the moment, being so close to him yet only in a friendly way. What worse could happen?”  
“That we won't even be friends afterwards anymore?”  
“Well, this may sound harsh now but don't you think that would be better than spending time with him, pining constantly?” Danario had said, watching him carefully. “Everyone always says they prefer to be friends with the person they love if they don't love them back. Is that really the better option?”  
Danny sighed, again not knowing what to reply to that. Danario, however, didn't seem to expect an answer as he had gotten up, patted Danny's shoulder and left.

Danny kept thinking about his team mates words for the next two weeks until he made a decision.   
They had played at home against Kansas City, a loss where Danny had only been on the field for two punt returns, when he asked Craig if he wanted to come over to watch a movie or something. Craig had smiled at him, nodding his confirmation and Danny had nervously returned that smile.  
At his house he had put on some random movie, not paying attention at all as he was going over what he wanted to say to Craig.   
When the credits were rolling over his TV screen he took a deep breath, telling his friend he needed to talk to him about something.   
Craig had turned to him with a frown. “That sounds serious Danny, is something wrong? You seemed distracted ever since we arrived here, are you ok?”  
Danny had closed his eyes for a brief moment, refusing to look at Craig as he knew he wouldn't be able to say anything if he saw the concerned look on his best friends face.   
“I like you!” Danny whispered, still refusing to meet Craig’s eyes.  
The other guy had chuckled, confusion obvious in that sound. “I like you too, Danny, you're my best friend!”  
“No, I think I really like you, like more than friends.” After muttering these words Danny had felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the room. Craig hadn't said anything, just sat there, surprise written all over his features.   
The silence became overbearing and Danny was in the urge of crying for how stupid he was to open his mouth. Before he could say anything though Craig had stood up, babbling something about it getting late and that he was sorry, leaving him on his couch. As soon as Danny had heard the front door shut he allowed the tears to stream over his cheeks, cursing himself for destroying one of the few real friendships he ever heard. He went to bed soon after, crying himself to sleep, thinking Craig would probably never talk to him again.   
Therefore, he was all the more surprised when he was woken by his door bell ringing incessantly the next morning. He dragged himself out of bed, putting on an old shirt over his boxers and went to open the door. Blinking hard when he opened it, he couldn't believe what, better to say who, he was seeing. There on his doorstep stood Craig, a sheepish grin on his face, asking Danny if he could come in. The younger one nodded his head, still dumbstruck by what was happening as he had followed Craig into his living room. He had stood in the middle of the room while watching his team mate pace in front of him.  
“I'm so sorry Danny,” the other guy started, looking at Danny. “I was just thrown of my guard by what you said yesterday as I had never dared to imagine to ever hear these words from you. I panicked, not knowing what to say so I ran. It was stupid Danny and I hope you forgive me as I feel the same for you.”  
The last few words had been whispered as Craig had come to a stop in front of Danny. He had taken the last few steps towards him, placing a hand on his cheek. Danny thought he must have still been dreaming as this couldn't be happening but when Craig’s lips finally met his, it felt more real than any dream ever could.  
Afterwards, Craig had stayed for the rest of the day which they spent talking about their feelings and kissing a lot which had Danny feeling like being on cloud nine.  
They had agreed on keeping quiet about it, the only person Danny had wanted to tell about was Danario, as he had to thank him as well.   
Danario was delighted for them, promising to keep his mouth shut but also assuring them that he would be there if any of them needed to talk. Danny couldn't believe that this was his life, being happier than he ever was before with his career finally going in the right direction and with a loving boyfriend.

In October 2012, so almost two years later, it all seemed to take a turn for the worst. Even though he had been in the starting line-up for every game so far, he still felt that his career could be over any time. Then came their match against the Cardinals where Danny almost lost his life.  
It had been a pretty normal day so far, his team was on the field for a second down. He had dived for the ball but landed awkwardly on his right shoulder which sent pain shooting through his whole body. He was brought into the locker room where the whole degree of his injury was detected. Instead of pooping out, the clavicle had popped in, coming millimetres from puncturing his trachea and aorta which could have killed him instantly. After their medical staff had phoned around to see if anyone had any experience with this kind of injury he was anaesthetized to pop the clavicle back in place. He was told afterwards that it wasn't sure how long he would be out as no one has ever dealt with such an injury. Danny felt like this was it, even though he wasn't too sorry that this meant he would miss their game against the New England Patriots.   
Surprisingly, he recovered quite quickly, being able to return only four weeks later against the 49ers to play one of his best games until then.  
Due to everything happening in his professional life he kind of neglected his private one. Craig had been distancing himself during the last weeks even before his injury. During his recovery he was so focussed on getting back on the field that he first didn't realise. As Craig gave him some half ass excuse why he couldn't come over to Danny’s after the game against the 49ers though, Danny started to see that something was off. Danny had a suspicion that it got to do with him still not having told his parents about his relationship or even being gay. This had been a reason for many arguments already but Danny just never felt ready enough to tell his parents, even when Matt had told him to finally do it.   
He had gone home, spending the whole evening thinking about his relationship, realising that they hadn't spent an evening together in a long time. They both had agreed on not moving in together as they tried to keep their relationship to themselves but lately Craig had always had something else to do. Well, if Danny was being honest with himself, he hadn't made a real effort recently either, going home on his own without even asking if Craig wanted to come over. He couldn't even remember the last time they properly kissed or were intimate with each other. Sighing, Danny rubbed a hand over his face, debating internally if he should call Craig to talk about this or not. He decided against it, instead opting for going to bed early, the game had been exhausting after all.  
During the next few days it became more and more obvious that both Danny and Craig knew that there was an issue but neither of them was willing to make the first move to talk about it.  
At training and for games they talked to each as if everything was normal between them.   
However, Danny realised pretty soon that he didn’t even miss Craig that much. For some reason, he didn’t feel the same about his boyfriend anymore.   
When it became evident that the Rams wouldn’t resign Danny no words were exchanged between them about the possibility of Danny leaving.   
Even though they had made plans for Christmas, Danny figured that they were cancelled as well so he left for Texas after their game in Tampa on the 23rd of December. Craig didn’t say anything, the only thing they exchanged was an impersonal text message, wishing each other a Merry Christmas.  
On return back to St. Louis, Danny had made the decision to have the inevitable talk with Craig. They were back at their stadium to prepare for their last game of the season one day after Christmas when Danny approached the other guy, asking if they could talk after practice. Craig had given him a knowing look, agreeing on going to his place later.   
During the whole practice session, Danny went over what he wanted to say in his head. On the way to Craig’s he started to get nervous although he didn’t really know why as it was more than obvious that it would be a consensual break up.  
As expected, it didn’t even take long. Craig explained that he honestly had loved Danny but he had distanced himself as he realised that his feelings weren’t the same anymore. It hurt, hearing those words, even though Danny had to say the same to Craig.  
They agreed to keep quiet about it to the people that did know about them and also promised to stay in touch.  
However, when they said their goodbyes to each other after their last game a few days later it pretty much felt like a permanent farewell.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Having survived the first day at his new team, Danny arrived home that evening, feeling exhausted. They hadn’t even done that much actual training but facing Julian again and going through all kinds of different emotions had drained him.  
All in all it hadn’t been as bad as he had expected. Rather the exact opposite, Julian had been nice, seemed to be well liked within the team and not for sarcastic and hurtful comments but more his openness and general humbleness he had shown the whole day. This behaviour from the younger guy had left Danny confused. Was this really the same Julian he had met during High School?   
Sighing, he went about his evening routine, trying not to think too much about it. He didn’t know how he would deal with it if it continued like this. Was he supposed to say something, remind Julian who he was and what had happened between them all those years ago? Or should he just keep quiet, pushing all memories to the back of his head and try to make a new start?   
But even though Danny didn’t feel the need to relive everything from back then he knew that he couldn’t pretend that there was no history between him and Julian. For now, he decided, he wouldn’t say anything, just trying to stay away from Julian as much as possible so he could figure out a way to deal with him in the long run.  
His plan was spoiled already a few days later when they left for trainings camp. On the plane they were told their roommates and Danny felt his stomach drop when he learned that he would be sharing a room with Julian. He didn’t even listen to his coach explaining they liked to put a new member of the team together with someone who’s been there longer already and played the same position. Danny just nodded along, feeling that this would end in a disaster. Julian, however, seemed to be delighted as he sat next to Danny on the bus to the hotel, talking about how much he was looking forward to get to know Danny which had the Texas native suppress a snort. Yeah, it would definitely be fun spending so much time with Julian.  
After dinner that evening Julian asked him if he wanted to join him and a few other players in their common room but Danny politely declined. He hadn’t talked much to the other guy throughout the day, always making sure he sat a good few seats away.  
Julian just shrugged and left him alone in their room. As soon as the door closed, Danny got out his phone and dialled Matt’s number.  
“Hey baby brother, how are you doing?” Matt answered cheerfully which had Danny groaning in exasperation.  
“Perfect, considering that I have to share a room with Julian for the next week.” He let himself fall back on his bed, staring at the ceiling.  
“Oh,” Matt replied. “Well, maybe this is the chance to have a clarifying talk?” He tried cautiously.   
“I don’t know.” The younger one sighed. “So far it’s ok like this. I mean even though it confuses the hell out of me, I prefer this Julian over the one from High School. But I also know that I need to talk to him about it as the memories will influence my relationship with him on the field as well. I just don’t want to go through everything again you know?”  
“I understand that Danny, but don’t you think it’s time to face your demons for one final time? You’ve been better during these last years but I also know that you’re still struggling with nightmares occasionally. Don’t you think this would be what you need to finally leave everything behind you?”  
Danny sighed again. “Probably, yes. I have no clue however how to bring this up. He is so friendly, how am I supposed to start a conversation about this? I can’t just say ‘Hey Julian, don’t you remember that I was your favourite victim during our last year in High School. Oh and by the way, you really fucked me over back then, I’m still having troubles dealing with all that’!”  
Matt chuckled slightly due to the dripping sarcasm in Danny’s voice. “That’s supposedly not the best way to approach this subject, true. You need to talk to him at some point though Danny and the longer you wait the harder it will be.”  
“You’re right. But not during trainings camp when we’re sharing a room. Also I first want to settle a bit in the team. Thanks anyway for your advice Matt and for listening, I really appreciate it.”  
“Always D, you know that. Enjoy your training!” Matt replied.  
“I will, thanks!” Danny laughed. “Talk to you soon.”  
With that he hung up, continuing to stare at his hotel room ceiling trying to think of a way he could talk to Julian.

For the rest of the week Danny kept his distance, only making polite conversation with Julian if he really needed to while the other one was the complete opposite. He was continually asking Danny if he was ok, if he needed help with anything or asked if they would do something together in the evenings. Danny declined every single time but for whatever reason Julian didn’t seem to get the hint as he just carried on with his friendly behaviour.  
Danny didn’t care as he liked that a lot better than the bullying even though he still didn’t allow his thoughts to go back to that time.   
It was their second last day at camp when Matthew approached him after their lunch break.   
Danny was sitting on one of the benches next to the field, drinking from a water bottle and preparing himself to run a few extra routes before the next training session.  
“Hey, mind if I join you?” Matthew asked, smiling at Danny who shook his head, gesturing to the empty space next to him. Matthew sat down and for a few moment neither of them said anything.  
“How are you liking it so far?” his team captain asked. “Have you settled in with the team ok?”  
Danny nodded, figuring it was Matthews’s duty to check in on the new guys.  
“Yeah, I think I settled in well so far, still need to get used to a few things but I think I already remember most of the plays we have here!” Danny assured him, smile still on his face.  
“Good, good,” Matthew nodded, looking thoughtful. “How about the team? You feeling comfortable with the guys here?”  
Danny swallowed, having a sudden suspicion where this was going.  
“Well, I think I’m good with most of them. Haven’t really had the chance to talk to everybody yet but I think it’s a great team with a great team spirit.”  
Matthew nodded again before he shifted his gaze to Danny: “And what is the deal with you and Julian?”  
Danny’s heart started racing and he tried putting on a neutral face. “Julian? No problem with him, why?”  
“He came to me, saying you always refuse to do something with him and a few of the other guys. He was worried about you, as he said you were hardly speaking to him. I talked to a few other guys who all said you were very friendly, talked to them normally and even already joint in on some of the banter. So I was asking myself if there was a problem with Julian specifically?”  
Danny swallowed, he should have known that the younger guy couldn't keep his mouth shut. For a moment he thought about telling Matthew about his past with Julian but decided against it. Before he could talk to anyone else he should confront Julian with it as it wasn't fair to tell their team mates. They all liked Julian and he didn't want to make them feel like they had to take sides. Besides, what would they think about him, the new guy in the team who brought tension into the team just weeks after arriving?  
“I...” Danny cleared his throat, cursing himself for blushing. “I think I still need to get used to him you know? He can be quite loud and obnoxious, which is not a bad thing. I'm more the quiet guy though so for me it's a bit much at the moment but I guess we'll be fine.” Danny hoped his smile looked at least a bit reassuring, even though he didn't quite believe what he was saying.  
Matthew, however, made a humming noise which could be interpreted as affirmation.  
“You're right, I think everyone of us had to get used to him at first. He is a great guy though and I think you could be good friends!” He smiled at Danny, motioning to get up. Danny had trouble to keep the smile on his face when he looked at his team mate, nodding.   
“We'll see,” he said vaguely before standing up himself.  
“Well, I leave you to it, see you later,” Matthew said, turning around and walking towards a group of other players that had already come to the field.  
Danny needed a moment to clear his thoughts, starting to run laps around the field. For the rest of their stay he tried to make a bit more friendly conversation with Julian and not just be politely short-spoken.  
As soon as they were back though, he went back to avoiding him although he tried to be less obvious about it. He still hadn’t decided when and how to approach Julian, putting the unavoidable talk off as long as possible.  
He made it to the first game of the season against the Bills without anyone asking him about his relationship with Julian again. He had played well in that game as well as Julian but unfortunately he had suffered a groin injury which kept him off the field for three weeks, giving him more excuses to stay away from his fellow team mate. It was only after he re-joined the team for practice, when his differences with Julian became evident again.  
So far, he had done well with keeping it off the field but the other guy just didn’t stop trying to befriend Danny which annoyed him so much that he let it influence his behaviour towards the younger guy during training as well.  
He knew that Matthew was watching them, having been on the receiving end of one too many distinct looks. But after a particularly bad practice prior to their game against the Dolphins in Week 8, Tom called them both to him after their session.  
“Guys,” Tom gave them a serious look. “I normally don’t meddle with someone else’s business but as it is affecting the team, it’s my duty to say something. I don’t know the problem between you two and I don’t really care. You don’t need to be best friends but just sort it out ok?”  
Danny felt himself getting annoyed as he didn’t really liked being scolded by his new Quarterback. He spared neither of them a glance and just nodded. Julian gave him an irritated look, obviously not happy about this either and blaming Danny.   
“I’m living not far away,” Julian said through gritted teeth. “We’re going to my place after changing.”  
He turned around, leaving Danny without waiting for a reply and Danny’s blood was boiling. Normally he wasn’t a guy to get riled up easily but Julian’s nonchalance and obvious lack of remembrance had him raging.  
Following the other guy to the changing room his rage turned into a nervous feeling in his stomach. This was it, now was the time to confront Julian with their past, reliving everything. He went through the motions of taking a shower and getting changed automatically, his brain occupied with thoughts about the upcoming confrontation.  
When he stepped into the parking lot Julian was already waiting for him.   
It only took about ten minutes to Julian’s place which on one hand felt like years for Danny but on the other it was too quick that he parked his car next to Julian’s in his driveway. Taking a deep breath he got out of the car, following Julian inside. They went straight to the living room, Julian gesturing to Danny to take a seat on the couch. Neither of them said anything for a moment, the nerves tightening Danny’s throat which made it impossible to speak.   
“Danny, I think we should really talk about this.” Julian said cautiously and one look at the other guys face told Danny that he knew exactly what he was talking about. This had him raging again and suddenly the words started to spill out of him.  
“You think we should talk about this??” He yelled, causing an almost scared look to appear on Julian’s face. “Tell me what exactly you want to talk to me about Julian. The fact that you bullied me in High School, ruining my last year? Or maybe that you pretended over the last five months that you didn’t know who I was and what you did to me?”  
Julian visibly swallowed, his eyes downcast on his hands.  
“Danny I’m s…”  
“Don’t you even dare saying you’re sorry!” Danny’s booming voice interrupted him which surprised both of them. However, Danny was on a roll now and he knew he wouldn’t stop until he got everything out.  
“Can you imagine how shit I felt back then? I had been told that I had a high chance to get a football scholarship for college if I played a good last year in High School and then came a guy whom I never did anything bad to, hell whom I didn’t even know, who tried to ruin it. And that for no apparent reason if I may add! But not only did he try that, he also made it his mission to make my whole life miserable. There were several times I thought about dropping out of the team because of you, throwing away any chances I may have had on a professional career. I asked myself over and over again what I might have done to you but even years later I can’t think of one good reason. So please Julian, instead of making lame excuses, enlighten me what terrible thing I did to you back then to deserve the treatment you gave me!”  
Danny finished his rant, panting and looking at Julian expectantly.   
The Californian fiddled with his fingers nervously, not meeting Danny’s eyes.  
“I’m really sorry,” he muttered which had Danny scoffing. “I knew exactly who you were, already back when you were signed. Since that day I tried to figure out how I was supposed to act towards you and if you would even remember me.”  
“Yeah because something like that is so easy to forget!” Danny rolled his eyes, sarcasm evident in his voice.  
Julian flinched, his cheeks turning a slight shade of red. “Well, I guess not. But when I saw you in the locker room that first day I just had to come over and see your reaction. I could tell from the look on your face that you did remember which made me feel even worse for pretending not to and being so friendly towards you. When they put us on a room together I hoped we could solve this maybe yet obviously you weren’t ready to talk about it back then. Afterwards whenever I told myself to finally admit it to you I freaked out, ending up not doing it. Danny, you have to believe me, I am so sorry for what happened and how I behaved back then.”  
Julian finally looked at him and Danny could see honest regret in his eyes. However, he wasn’t prepared to forgive and forget just yet.  
“Just one thing Julian,” the other nodded immediately. “Why?”  
The hopeful look that had appeared on the other guys face quickly vanished again.  
“This must sound crazy now but I wasn’t as confident back then as I wanted people to think. At the beginning it was just to make me feel better, to distinguish myself in front of my friends and the team. I soon realised though that I was jealous as you were smart and you were, you are, a great football player.”  
“Flattery brings you nowhere Julian!” Danny muttered under his breath, throwing Julian off guard for a second.  
“Anyway, I felt threatened by you back then and was working on some personal issues which I took out on you. I know that it was wrong and believe me when I tell you I regret it so much but I also know that no matter what I do or say won’t make it undone. Therefore I’m asking you to accept my apologies and believe me when I tell you that I’m not the same guy anymore as back in High School. I seriously hope that you can forgive me at least a bit so we can be good team mates because I think we could be great together on the field.”  
Danny nodded feeling tired suddenly, his outburst and all the different emotions running through his body had drained him. “Ok, don’t expect me to be your friend but I also don’t want to jeopardise our careers so I guess I can try to be a good colleague.”  
Julian smiled a little at that, thanking him.  
An uncomfortable silence settled over them both not really knowing what to say after that.  
“I, uhm,” Danny cleared his throat. “I better head home, we have an early day tomorrow.”  
“Oh yeah, you’re right, wait I walk you to the door!” Julian shuffled out of the room awkwardly, Danny following close behind.  
“I guess I see you tomorrow then,” Danny shifted from one foot to the other while saying his goodbyes, suddenly feeling nervous again as he didn’t know how to act around Julian now.  
“Yeah, I see you in the morning.” Julian opened the door and with a little wave Danny walked down the path to his car.  
He sat in his car for several minutes before he felt calm enough to drive home. All thoughts about what just happened were pushed to the back of his mind as he wasn’t in the mood to deal with them now.  
At home, he went straight to bed hoping he would quickly fall into a dreamless sleep.


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

After that evening at Julian’s house things got a little better. Even though Danny wasn't nearly ready to forgive Julian for what he'd done, at least he thought so, he realised that it wouldn't get him anywhere if he was continuing to hold a grudge against the other guy, affecting both their ways to play.  
Also, he had never been one to be resentful so he tried and gave Julian a second chance.  
He started going out more often with the group around Julian which included Rob, Stephen, Ryan Allen, Matthew, Chandler Jones and Shane Vereen. Particularly Stephen and Matthew were delighted as they had often begged Danny to come along but he had always declined because of Julian.   
No one knew why they suddenly tried to get along and luckily no one asked as they figured it was something between the two of them. They were all just happy that everything seemed to regularise itself within the team.   
Tom didn’t comment on it anymore either, he just gave them an approving nod a few days later during training when he saw Danny and Julian talking normally with each other.  
At the beginning, Danny still preferred to stick with Stephen or Matthew while doing something with all of them, however, he soon had to realise that he and Julian had a few things in common. They both loved playing ping pong for example and after a while they regularly met about three or four times a week at Julian’s place as he had a ping pong table in his basement.   
So far Danny had won almost every game though as he used to play a lot with Matt when he was younger to improve his eye-hand coordination and therefore had a lot of practice. Julian took it with a laugh, which surprised Danny a lot, but swore that he would do everything to be able to beat Danny at some point in a friendly rivalry.   
Generally, Danny was amazed at how different the younger guy was. Contrary to his intentions of taking it slow with Julian he found himself spending more and more time with him and also enjoying himself in the company of the Californian. They had a similar sense of humour even though Julian definitely was the louder and more obnoxious type of guy while Danny preferred to stay in the background. Somehow they seemed to complement each other in that regard which brought a lot of fun to the group. Even though their conversations were still mostly of the superficial type as they mostly talked about football, sports or general things, Danny felt that after a few weeks they were much closer.  
This had also a positive effect on the way they played as they started to understand each other’s ways to play a lot better now.   
They trained together with Tom as well, studying the play book and how they could improve different things.  
Danny learned quite a bit about Julian during that time which made him understand the person behind all the laughs more. He realised that Julian had to face a lot of criticism during the beginning of his career as everyone told him he was too small to become a big role on any team which led him to practice meticulously ever since, trying to prove everyone wrong. Therefore, he showed up at the stadium at five in the morning every day, no matter if there was a session scheduled for that day or not.   
Towards the end of the season they had established some kind of rhythm. Every day after training they went to Julian’s place where the younger guy would prepare some food for them as he was quite a good cook. Afterwards they either spent hours in the basement, Danny giving tips on how to get better at ping pong which would also benefit Julian’s abilities on the field or they went to the backyard, throwing a few balls back and forth. More often than not it happened that it was only the two of them without anyone else from their usual group but Danny was surprisingly ok with that.   
He knew that this one talk they had didn’t solve everything already, yet he was more at ease with himself and also with Julian. The other guy had definitely proved to Danny that he wasn’t the same person anymore that he had been in High School and therefore Danny was ready to slowly try to forget everything and grant Julian a complete new chance.   
They had played a good season and were all devastated when they lost the AFC Championship game against the Broncos.   
However, for the first time in his life, Danny had a feeling of home when thinking of his life in Boston and he was looking forward to return after the off season to start preparing for the new season. If someone had told him a year ago that it would end like that, he would have laughed right in their face.


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Danny had just come back from his morning run when his phone rang. He threw his sweaty shirt he just took off in the laundry bin, knowing his mum would take of it later. It was two months into his off season which he had mostly spent at his parents’ house in California, where they still lived even though Danny had went back to Texas for college.  
He grabbed his phone and didn’t look at who was calling before answering: “Hello?”  
“Hey Danny, uhm, it’s Julian,” he heard his team mate coming through the receiver and had to admit he was caught off guard by this call. They had been on a good way with their friendship during the last season but they hadn’t been in contact since they both had left Boston.  
“Hi,” Danny just responded, not really knowing what to say.  
“Uhm, are you still in Redwood?” Julian asked and Danny could sense that the other guy felt a bit awkward as well which made him wonder why had called in the first place.  
“Yeah, I just came back from my morning run around the Bedwell Park. Why?”  
“It’s just, uhm, Tom and I used to train together while we were both back home but he went on holidays with Giselle and the kids now. So I wanted to ask if you might wanted to join me for some training sessions?”  
Danny’s eyes widened in surprise and not only due to the question but also because he could hear how unsure Julian was. For a moment, he wasn’t sure what to reply. They had spent a lot of time training just the two of them in Boston but this was different. Here, they were back in the place where they first met and at least Danny didn’t have the nicest memories of the year he lived here. Was he prepared to deal with Julian here? On the other hand, the other guy had been such a positive surprise, why should he be different now just because they weren’t in Boston anymore?  
Before he could think too much about this Danny heard himself agree: “Sure, where do you normally train?”  
“Oh great,” Julian answered, obviously he hadn’t expected Danny to agree straight away. “There is a facility at Stanford University we can use. I can pick you up if you want?”  
“Right now?” Danny asked, trying to force down a nervous tingle starting in his stomach which he couldn’t really explain.  
“If you want to?” Julian sounded unsure again. “I mean you said that you just came back from a run so you’re still sweaty anyway, right?” It sounded so innocent but Danny felt a blush creeping on his face from Julian referring to him as sweaty. He shook his head to get these thoughts out of his mind and focussed back on his conversation with Julian.  
“Uhm, yeah, sure,” he cleared his throat awkwardly.  
“Perfect!” Julian nearly shouted over the phone. “Just give me your address and I will be there in about fifteen minutes?!”  
Before he could change his mind Danny muttered the name of his street and they hung up.  
Shaking his head about himself as he just made a fool of himself again he put on a new shirt, grabbing his gym bag and headed back downstairs. He quickly wrote a note for his parents, for a moment feeling like a teenager again and then went outside to wait for Julian. It didn’t take long until Julian pulled up in their driveway, Danny sprinting down the pathway, climbing into the passenger seat.  
Despite their awkwardness on the phone, conversation was relatively easy during the drive and while throwing balls, doing drills and running routes they didn’t talk that much anyway.  
After that morning spent together they met every day and went to the gym together or they went for a run in the park or at the beach. Sometimes they even stayed over at one of their places afterwards, throwing balls with their dads or Matt, who came to visit in May. Even though Julian had transitioned to a Wide Receiver he still had a great arm and threw some fantastic balls. Danny had also caught himself several times watching Julian while working out, especially when they went for shirtless runs. As soon as he realised what he was doing though, he quickly averted his eyes, trying to hide his blush and focussing on something else. He didn’t allow himself to think about that fact and what it could mean, keeping himself distracted with various things.   
In the evening of the day Matt had met Julian for the first time, he took Danny aside after dinner.   
“I know that you were on friendly terms with Julian but I didn’t realise that you now were best buddies! Are you ok with that, regarding your whole history? Have you talked about this again?”  
Danny sighed, shaking his head: “No, we haven’t and to be honest I don’t want to either. I mean, we are good now, I don’t have bad memories rushing back to my mind anymore whenever I see him and he really turned out to be a great guy. I don’t see why I should destroy that again by bringing up things that can’t be changed anymore anyway.”  
Matt looked at him warily, clearly not fully believing Danny’s words.  
“Look Matt, what happened happened and no one can make it undone. Was Julian’s behaviour shit? Yes it was but he is sorry and he showed me that he’s nothing like that guy from back then anymore. Why should I still hold a grudge against him when all that would lead to problems on the field?”  
Matt still wasn’t convinced but nodded: “You’re right Danny and I admire you for that. Just be careful ok?”  
Danny laughed: “Matt we are no teenagers anymore, you don’t need to take care of me I can very well do that myself!” He bumped into his older brothers’ shoulder which made Matt shove him playfully as well and ended their conversation.

They went back to Boston at the end of June, a week before their preseason started and kept to their routine of practising together.   
When they all met again everyone was happy to see that, apparently, they had finally overcome all of their differences and were by now an unbeatable Wide Receiver duo. That years trainings camp was totally different compared to the one last year and sometimes Danny himself couldn’t believe how far they had come during these past twelve months. 

Compared to the good feeling they all had about the team after preseason, their start into the regular season was quite rough. They lost their season opener at Miami and even though they made two better games in the following week they were destroyed by Kansas in Week 4 and the media was quick to question Tom and if the team was able to even play a role in this year’s playoff battle.  
His own performance had left him frustrated, especially as he again had to miss a few games due to an injury and found himself getting more and more distracted by Julian. He still didn’t want to deal with or even think about it yet he knew that it couldn’t go on like that.  
He cursed himself several times as he was finally able to act normally with the other guy and now he started to develop these ridiculous feelings for his team mate.   
It was after their game against the Broncos at the beginning of November when Tom approached him in the locker room. They were all in high spirits as this had been one of their best games that season so far and the locker room was buzzing. Everyone was congratulating Julian again as he had scored a 84-yard touchdown after a punt return and Danny just sat at his locker, enjoying the happy smile on the younger guys face.   
He didn’t even realise that Tom had sat down next to him when he felt an elbow nudging his side and he turned his gaze to his Quarterback.  
“You should tell him.” Was all Tom said and Danny raised his eyebrows, giving him a questioning look.  
“Tell who what?” he asked after several moments in which Tom didn’t elaborate more on his thoughts.  
“Tell Julian that you like him, obviously,” Tom replied matter of factly and Danny almost choked.   
Tom just calmly clapped his back, looking as if he didn’t really know why Danny reacted like that.  
“What?” Danny croaked, still trying to catch his breath.  
“Oh don’t act stupid Danny. I see the way you look at him and today during the game after he scored that punt return touchdown? You were the first one to jump in his arms and I swear if you hadn’t wore a helmet you two would have kissed, the way you had him pressed against the side fence.”  
Danny felt his cheeks heating up as he remembered the scene Tom was talking about and he had to admit that his team mate was right. He had been so excited that for a moment he forget where they were and he had pushed Julian against the balustrade, enjoying the way their bodies were pressed together. For a moment he thought about denying it further, the look on Toms face told him he knew already anyway so he just sighed, putting his head in his hands.  
“I can’t just tell him Tom,” he mumbled, hoping his Quarterback could hear him.  
“Why not? As far as I can tell he feels the same for you as well so what should happen?”  
Danny’s head snapped back up, glaring at Tom.   
“What should happen? Maybe him rejecting me as he isn’t even gay? You can’t tell someone’s feelings just by looking at them and I won’t risk the friendship we were finally able to build between us for something like that.”  
“So your happiness is not important?” Tom asked a little sarcastically.  
“Oh fuck off Tom, I am happy, that doesn’t depend on how much Julian likes me or not. I’m sick and tired of drama so I better keep my mouth shut and enjoy our friendship the way it is and I would appreciate if you would leave me alone with that.” He gave Tom a look which he hoped was serious enough so the other guy got the message but Tom just shrugged.  
“Your decision Danny. I’m just saying that you’re not very subtle and if you continue like this he will know soon enough anyway.” With that the older man stood up and walked away, leaving a slightly fuming Danny behind. Who was Tom to think he could give him advice about what to do or not to do?  
He huffed, starting to pack up his things as he suddenly wasn’t in the mood to celebrate anymore. Saying goodbye to a few of his team mates on the way out, he walked towards his car when someone called his name.  
“Danny, wait!” He turned around, seeing Julian running towards him and his anger was forgotten.  
“Hey, you’re already leaving?” Julian looked at him, disappointment written over his features.  
“Yeah sorry, I’m exhausted. You were great out there today Jules, I’m proud of you.”  
Due to the darkness in the parking lot Danny didn’t notice the blush creeping over Julian’s face.   
“Uh thanks D that means a lot.” Julian looked up and Danny's breath hitched when seeing the smile on the younger guys lips.  
“Well I better head off, otherwise I’ll fall asleep standing up,” Danny tried to joke which made Julian chuckle slightly.   
“Ok D, we’ll see each other tomorrow yeah? And as we’re having our bye week next weekend I expect you celebrating with me then as you’re already bailing out tonight, understood?” Julian gave him a mock glare which made Danny laugh as well.  
“Sure Jules, see you tomorrow though!” He gave a little wave and continued to walk to his car.

During the whole next week Danny went over what Tom had said to him. He knew that sooner or later he had to say something but he was so afraid of ruining everything they had worked for so hard just because he wasn’t able to keep his feelings at bay.   
Their weekend off came faster than Danny had liked and on the Saturday evening he found himself in a restaurant in Foxborough with their usual group.   
It was a relaxed evening, the food was good and they all had a few drinks, talking about everything.   
Later that night, he found himself sharing a taxi with Julian as he had left his car at the other guy’s house.  
They stumbled into the house, Danny more drunk than he had thought and crashed on the couch. Julian turned on the TV even though it was way after midnight and there wouldn’t be anything good on anyway.  
He took some time to flipping through the channels until he found a repeat of their game from last week.  
“Oh look D, in a few minutes I will score a touchdown after a punt return,” Julian giggled as if he didn’t know the game and had visionary power.  
Danny chuckled as well, looking at the TV screen intensely when the actual play came on. They sat in silence watching Julian run down the field and scoring the touchdown. The camera stayed on Julian and Danny saw how he jumped on his team mate, feeling the heat creep up his cheeks. As he saw this now on TV he suddenly knew what Tom had been talking about after the game, he definitely hadn’t been subtle in that situation. He didn’t dare to look at Julian who hadn’t said anything for a few minutes now, keeping his gaze strictly on the TV.   
The game continued but Danny felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the room which made the room seem to start spinning around him but maybe that was to blame on the alcohol as well. He didn’t know if he should say something or not. This decision was taken from him by Julian who suddenly got up and turned off the TV, leaving them almost completely in darkness.  
“I’m heading to bed,” the Californian just said, turning around and left the living room. Danny spent a few minutes freaking out as he feared Julian had realised that Danny had feelings for him until he was able to drag himself to the guest room and slide under the covers. He stayed awake for quite some time, thinking about what he was supposed to say to Julian the next day and only fell asleep when the sun started to come up again.  
When Danny got up a few hours later he expected it to be awkward between them but Julian was his usual self, laughing and joking while making breakfast for them. They talked about normal stuff so Danny tried to forget that night just like Julian seemed to have forgotten it.

Two weeks later they were on their way to Julian’s again after training for one of their epic ping pong battles when Julian’s phone rang. As he was the one driving he motioned Danny to answer it. Danny looked at him sceptically but obeyed and answered the phone: “Hello?”  
“Julian?” A male voice came through the receiver.  
“No, I'm Danny, Julian is driving at the moment. Uhm, who's calling?”  
“Oh I see how it is,” the voice said, totally ignoring Danny's question. “So are you his new boy toy? Did he declare his undying love for you already? I hope your smart enough not to fall for it. Tell him it was Jamie trying to call him but he doesn't need to bother calling me back, we're done!”  
“Excuse me?” Danny started but the guy on the other end had already hung up. He stared at the phone, asking himself what just happened.  
“Who was that?” Julian glanced over to him while pulling up to his house, turning the engine off.  
Danny cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the lump that had suddenly formed there.  
“A guy called Jamie?” Danny answered, looking at Julian with a raised eyebrow.  
As soon as he mentioned the name of the caller, Julian’s features hardened and he got out of the car without saying anything. Unsure of what to do, Danny followed the younger guy into the house, cautiously sitting down next to him on the couch.   
“Jules?” Danny tried again carefully. “Who’s Jamie?”  
Julian slumped forward, burying his head in his hands. He took a few deep breaths before he mumbled: “Whatever he said to you Danny, I’m sorry. I honestly thought he understood the last time I told him to leave me alone, guess I was wrong then.” The humourless and somewhat desperate laugh the younger guy let out somehow scared Danny. He had never seen his friend like this, the way he caved in on himself made him look even smaller than he actually was. Danny reached out and tentatively placed a hand on Julian’s shoulder. He wasn’t sure what to do but wanted to show Julian that he was there if he needed someone to talk.  
They sat in silence for a long time, Danny rubbing Julian’s back in a soothing manner and Julian with his face still covered by his hands. Just as Danny wanted to tell Julian that he would give him some space the younger guy lifted his head and finally answered Danny’s question: “Jamie is my ex-boyfriend.”  
Danny needed a moment but when the words sunk in his eyes widened in disbelieve.   
“I,” he stammered, trying to find the right words to say but his mind was totally blank. “You’re gay?”  
He cringed internally after saying these words as they came out totally wrong.   
Julian’s face closed off again, his jaw tightening.   
“Yes I am. I want you to leave now Danny, I think I need some time on my own.”  
Danny started shaking his head frantically: “No Jules, sorry, you caught me off guard with that…”  
“But you don’t want to have a gay best friend,” Julian interrupted him. “I understand Danny, I already heard that so many times before. I hoped you would be different and to be honest I didn’t expect you to have a problem with that but I was obviously wrong with that. Please, I don’t want to make you even more uncomfortable so I would appreciate it if you just leave and we never mention this again.”  
Julian looked defeated and all Danny wanted to do was hug him.  
Instead he took a deep breath himself, looked Julian straight in the eyes and said: “Julian, let me finish please. Yes, you caught me off guard as I would have never expected that. I definitely don’t have a problem with that because than I would have a problem with myself.”  
Julian gave him a confused look and opened his mouth to say something but Danny stopped him by raising his hand: “I’m gay myself!”  
“You’re what,” now it was Julian’s turn to look surprised. “This is not funny Danny, I don’t really like when people make jokes about this.”  
“I’m serious Julian, I wouldn’t be joking about something like that. I see where you’re coming from though, with not believing me, I’m the same. With you now, there are only about five or six people who know about me, my parents not included as I haven't been able to tell them yet.”  
Danny didn’t know why he was telling Julian all this now but it felt good to get it of his chest to someone who, hopefully, understood.  
Julian nodded, seeming to finally trust Danny’s words.  
“Well, my parents know but apart from them there are only a handful of other people knowing and I made some bad experiences which made me become very careful with this information.” A flicker of hurt crossed Julian’s face as he obviously remembered something but it was gone quickly.  
“Jamie was my first serious relationship, we were together for almost five years. At least I thought it was serious until I found out that he had been sleeping with various other guys behind my back for most of the time.”  
“Shit,” Danny muttered in the lack of having a better response to that.  
“Yeah it was pretty shitty, I’m over it now though as it’s been two years already. Since I’m becoming more successful, however, he started calling me again, apologising and telling me he realised that I am the love of his life.” Julian huffed sarcastically and then started laughing.   
Danny looked at him alarmed as he didn’t know what to think of that sudden outburst.  
“Julian are you ok?” he asked a bit worried.  
“Yeah it’s just,” Julian started but had to stop to catch his breath. “Don’t you think it’s ironic that the two of us, of all people, are having this conversation? I mean we didn’t have the best start and I know that this was my fault but look at us no, telling us our biggest secrets.”  
Julian was still laughing slightly, shaking his head in disbelief. Danny thought about it for a moment and then had to chuckle too.   
“You’re right. If someone had told me this about a year ago I would have probably killed them.”  
They both sat there, thinking about everything for a while, the occasional chuckle to be heard.  
“I’m glad we’re over it though,” Julian said, being serious again. “I know that it was hard for you and I still feel bad about what I’ve done back then yet I’m happy we were able to work through it.” He turned to Danny and gave him a thankful and honest smile.  
“It’s ok,” Danny said, returning the smile and as soon as he said the words he realised that this was the first time he truly meant them. He had told Julian several times already but now he really felt that he had forgiven the younger lad.  
Julian seemed to notice that as well as his smile grew wider and he spontaneously pulled Danny into a hug.  
“Thanks, that means a lot,” he mumbled into Danny’s neck, tightening his arms around him to emphasise his words.  
Danny firmly hugged back and with that embrace they told each other more than words could ever have.


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Danny stared at himself in the mirror of his bedroom. It was the night of their Christmas dinner with the team and even though they said it wouldn’t be too formal, Danny wanted to look good. He scolded himself internally for his stupid thoughts when he changed his shirt for the fifth time that evening, not wanting to admit to himself why he was fussing so much about his outfit.  
A look at the clock told him that he had another twenty minutes to decide which shirt to wear before Julian would be there to pick him up. Sighing, he sat down on his bed, overlooking the chaos he had caused in his bedroom. Eventually, he took off the shirt he had on, grabbing the one he tried on first and slid it over his shoulders. With one last look in the mirror he went to his bathroom, quickly fixing his hair and putting on some aftershave before leaving his bedroom.  
He took his wallet and his phone from the small table in his hallway, put on his shoes and coat and just as he was about to look out the front window to see if the younger guy was there already, his doorbell rang.  
He opened the door to reveal a grinning Julian.  
“Hey, you’re ready?” Julian asked, hugging him quickly in greeting.  
Danny could only nod a response as he wasn’t able to say anything after having taken a good look at Julian. The other guy was wearing tight black jeans which highlighted all the right spots and a black button down with the top three buttons undone, his hair styled perfectly.  
“Come one then, I’m freezing!” the Californian laughed, already hurrying back to his car as he wasn’t wearing a coat.  
Danny fondly shook his head, locked his door behind him and followed his friend.   
They spent the drive talking about their latest game, where they had clinched their division as well as home field advantage for the play offs and some other things going on in the team. Ever since they’re evening of truth, how they are referring to it now, they became even closer, talking about everything with each other. Well, almost everything in Danny’s case as he, of course, still hadn’t told Julian about his feelings. Even though he knew now that the other one was interested in men as well he didn’t have the guts to mention it towards him yet.   
Tom had pestered him about it quite a lot during the last weeks as his pining has become worse after that evening, Danny was still refusing though. What was even worse was that Rob had somehow found out about it as well and since then the two of them wouldn’t leave him alone. He just hoped they didn’t have anything planned for tonight.

They arrived at the restaurant half an hour later, seeing that a lot of their team mates had already arrived as well.   
Making their way inside they handed their coats to the waitress who was standing at the entrance and greeted them with a welcoming smile.  
Danny’s hopes regarding Rob and Tom’s behaviour were scattered as soon as they set foot in the area that was reserved for them.  
Rob was the first one coming over, shouting his hello and hugging them simultaneously which made them laugh.  
“It’s good to see you lads,” he boomed, clapping their shoulders. “Wow Dola, you really went all out tonight, did you?” Rob wondered aloud after taking a good look at them both, grinning madly. Danny immediately felt self-conscious, cursing his choice to wear the almost see through white button down with tight, dark blue jeans.  
“Anyone here you want to impress?” he asked with a telling nudge of his elbow and Danny glared at him.  
“I think he looks hot!” Julian suddenly piped up, winking at Danny which made his cheeks heat up.  
Rob cackled loudly, looking at them and asking Danny: “Don’t you want to give back that compliment Dola? Or don’t you think Julian looks good as well?”  
Internally, Danny had already several plans in his head how to murder his taller team mate but he put a smile on his face which he hoped didn’t look to fake and replied: “Of course he does but I don’t think I need to shout it into his face!”  
He rolled his eyes, giving Julian a wink which made the younger lad smile brightly.  
“Whatever love birds,” Gronk interrupted them which had Danny glaring at him again. “Come on, the party already started and you both need a drink!”  
Gronk turned around to lead the way and Julian leaned into Danny, whispering into his ear while chuckling slightly: “I think he already had one too many!”  
Danny silently agreed and prayed the Tight End would keep his mouth shut for the rest of the evening.  
Surprisingly he did and they made it through diner without any more comments. However, Danny should have known something was going on when he saw Tom and Rob talking animatedly with each other, glancing over at him and Julian from time to time. 

They were well into the night and Danny was on the verge of being more than a little tipsy when Rob was suddenly standing behind them.  
“Oh guys, look what just appeared above you,” he yelled, causing everyone that was still there to turn their heads towards them. Danny looked up, already a bad feeling in his stomach and groaned when he saw a mistletoe being held over their heads. He closed his eyes for a second, wishing all the bad things in the world to his team mate before he felt an elbow in his rips.  
He opened his eyes again and immediately looked into Julian’s face.  
“Well, we can’t break the tradition, can we?” he asked, grinning at him and all Danny wanted to do was run away.  
He let his gaze wander through the room and when he saw the smug look on Tom’s face he knew that this was what he and Gronk had been talking about earlier. He gave him an angry look before plastering a smile on his face and turning back to Julian.  
“You’re right,” he said, not knowing where the sudden boost of confidence he was feeling had come from. “Let’s give them what they want.”  
Julian let out a laugh before sliding his hand around Danny’s neck, pulling him closer. He looked at Danny one more time as if to make sure this was really ok before closing the gap between them and placing his lips on Danny’s.  
Danny’s heart started racing as soon as Julian’s lips touched his. He had to remind himself to remain calm that this was just a stupid Christmas tradition. Yet he couldn’t prevent the shiver running through his body when he felt the other guy caressing the soft hair at the back of his head.   
He didn’t know how long they stayed like that but at some point Danny came back to his senses and when he heard the whistles and cheers from the rest of the team he quickly pulled away. As he was too preoccupied with hiding his blush and trying to act casual he missed the quick look of disappointment crossing Julian’s face.  
Looking around he saw Rob and Tom sitting together, self-satisfied grins on their faces.   
“I think with that we now sealed our eternal friendship, what do you say Danny?” Julian said loudly, nudging Danny with his elbow and giving him a big smile.  
The Texan needed a moment to collect his thoughts but then returned the smile: “Yeah, now we’re even more inseparable, Rob will wish soon enough that he hadn’t done that!”  
They both started laughing and Danny watched the faces of his two team mates turn from smug to something like despair and couldn’t help himself but boldly stuck out his tongue out towards them.  
Shortly after the kiss they decided to call it a night and when Danny climbed into the taxi behind Julian he heard some calls of “Have fun!” and “Enjoy your night!” which they both pointedly ignored. They didn’t talk about it either and the conversation they had on the way to back was just slightly awkward but Danny could live with that. 

When Tom tried to talk to him about it a few days later after training he just gave him a stern look and didn’t reply anything.   
“Oh come on Danny,” Tom sighed desperately. “It was fun and we just wanted to help you guys as it’s becoming painful for us to watch how you’re both pining for each other without realising it.”  
“No one is pining for anyone,” Danny mumbled through gritted teeth. “And I would honestly appreciate it if you two would stop trying to play match makers. If I were ready to talk to Julian I would have done it by myself already but at the moment I don’t think either of us needs the distraction. Or don’t you want us to rather concentrate on the play offs than solving our love lives?”  
Danny knew that this was a lame excuse but he just wanted Tom to stop mentioning it.  
Tom gave him a look as if he knew exactly what Danny was doing. “Fair enough. Play offs will be over at one point though and then you definitely need to talk to him Danny. It can’t go on like this.”  
“Whatever Tom, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, for now I think we said enough about this.”  
Without waiting for an answer, Danny grabbed his things and left the locker room, hoping to have finally made the other understand that he didn’t need their help.


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Danny nervously stepped from one foot to the other, getting into position. While waiting for Tom’s call he prayed that everything would work out the way they practised. The call came and he started running on autopilot. He passed the defender who covered him, quickly running past him and was as free as they hoped he would be. While continuing to run he looked back, seeing that Julian already had the ball in his hands, looking at him. The other guy threw the ball and Danny saw that it might be a bit wide. He ran as fast as he could, eyes never leaving the ball when it came descending down towards him. Without thinking too much he took a small step to the side, feeling the ball falling into his open arms. Securing it with his left arm, he kept on running towards the end zone, seeing the defender coming towards him from the corner of his eye. He knew that he was faster anyway but he kept on sprinting towards the end of the field and reached the end zone just when the defender had caught up to him.  
Due to his high speed he was just about able to stop in front of the side fence, throwing his hands in the air in celebration. Running back onto the field, he jumped into Jimmy’s waiting arms, taking congratulations from various team mates he couldn’t even make out in the turmoil. The only one he was looking for was Julian who was currently locked in an embrace with Tom, catching Danny’s eyes over their Quarterback’s shoulder.   
They met halfway across the field at the side-line, wrapping each other in a tight hug stumbling towards the bench.  
“Just like the backyard!” Danny yelled, both laughing excitedly, still high on adrenaline.   
They had practised this move over the past few weeks not only in training but also any time they were passing balls in Julian’s backyard. To finally be able to show it off in a game, especially in such an important one, and that it actually worked was an amazing feeling. It showed how much they trusted each other as well by now and that they were able to rely on the other guy.   
Everyone at the bench was waiting for them to compliment them on the perfect execution of the play which had also tied the score of the game, meaning they had come back from a fourteen point deficit.  
In the end they managed to win with a four point advantage which sent them straight to the Conference Final the next weekend.  
They won that game quite impressively with a score of 45-7 against the Colts, meaning they would play in the Super Bowl in two weeks.  
Spirits were high in the locker room afterwards yet they all were aware that there was still one very important game to play.

On the day of the Super Bowl they were all buzzing. They went about their warm up routine, trying to pretend it was just any other game in order to keep the nerves done. However, when it finally was time for kick off, Danny felt more nervous than ever before in his life.   
The start was hesitant on both sides, an interception from Tom’s pass intended for Julian two minutes before the end of the first quarter luckily not leading to a score from Seattle.   
The second quarter started off a lot better, with Danny making a catch for seventeen yards which was a great boost for his confidence. Their drive ended in a touchdown, the first score of the night and Danny had a good feeling for the rest of the night.   
Seattle tied the game with their next drive but the Patriots were able to counter that with a touchdown score from Rob just thirty seconds before half time.  
Danny wasn’t sure what happened afterwards if they were mentally already in the locker room, yet Seattle was able to tie again with only six seconds left before half time and from then on it all went downhill, despite Danny’s good feeling earlier.   
Coming back onto the field for the second half they had a plan in mind which was shattered just minutes later with Seattle scoring a field goal and intercepting the ball two minutes into their drive. The following play ended in another touchdown by Seattle and suddenly they found themselves with a ten point deficit.   
Danny couldn’t explain how that had happened and looking at his other team mates told him they felt the same.  
Tom was fuming, yelling at everyone that came too close to him.

In retrospect Danny couldn't say how they did it but they did.  
He had scored a touchdown after about half of the fourth and last quarter and their defence had made a great job by sending the Seahawks three and out after just one minute of possession. Julian caught the touchdown which put them in the lead again with just about two minutes on the clock. Danny couldn't remember much of these two minutes afterwards, he only knew he felt like the nerves would kill him.  
Seattle moved up to the one yard line and Danny wasn't able to watch their play and tried hiding behind the bench as he didn't want his disappointment being shown live on TV across the nation. Therefore his reaction to Malcolm's interception came a bit late and most of his team mates were already running around celebrating.   
He couldn't believe what was happening, saw that a few guys got into a fight with some Seattle players in their end zone and he couldn't grasp anything that was going on around him.   
The clock ran out and suddenly Danny found himself in the middle of the celebrations, champagne, water and god knows what being poured over each other and always at least one team mate that had his arms wrapped around him. His parents were there as well, his mum crying and telling him over and over again how proud they were of him.   
Suddenly, he felt two arms sneak around him from behind and he heard Julian's voice yell into his ear: “We made it Dola! We are Super Bowl Champions!”  
Danny turned around in the younger guys’ arms, embracing him properly and both of them laughing happily. He didn't know if he had been crying before but while being wrapped in Julian's arms he realised that tears were streaming down his face.  
They stood there quite some time until Rob found them and hugged them both shouting something incomprehensible.  
The presentation of their trophy and everything happening afterwards went by in a blur and soon enough Danny found himself in some club to celebrate.  
Partying until the sun came up again the few people from the team still left headed back to the hotel, no end to the party in sight.  
This continued over the next few days and Danny didn't know how many interviews he had already given but he was enjoying it so much that he wanted it to never stop.  
All the celebrations reached their fever pitch in their duck boat parade in Boston on the Wednesday after their win.  
Even though he hadn't slept much during these last crazy days, Danny felt more alive than ever while parading through the streets of Boston on their boat.  
Julian was absolutely wild, jumping on the roof of their vehicle, waving a Patriots flag and a banner he got from a fan and even stripping down to his shirt even though it was freezing cold. He didn't seem to mind though, the adrenaline and alcohol consumed keeping him warm.  
They reached their destination and got off of the boats, Julian already leaning onto Danny for support.  
Piling into cars waiting for them they were driven to a hotel in down town Boston where they had dinner with everyone working for the Patriots.  
Soon after the official part being over they moved the party to the rooftop bar of the hotel which they had rented out for the night. The alcohol kept flowing and Danny lost count of the drinks he consumed, just enjoying the feeling of celebrating with some of his best friends knowing he could crash in one of the rooms when it became too much. 

Danny woke up with a groan the next morning, his head feeling like someone was trying to split it up with a sledgehammer. He tried opening his eyes but immediately regretted it as the dim light in the room was enough to increase the pain. So instead of getting up, what he had intended to do, he tried to turn around on his other side to catch a bit more sleep yet something stopped him. With his mind still half asleep he reached out an arm but when is hand touched another body he suddenly was wide awake. Ignoring his pounding head he almost jumped out of the bed, looking at the person lying there. For a moment he thought his drunken thoughts played a trick on him so he closed his eyes, counted to ten and opened them again.   
Unfortunately, he had seen correctly and when looking back at the bed, Julian was still there, face buried deep into the pillow.  
Panic started to raise in Danny as he noticed that they were both naked and his first instinct let him run to the bathroom, locking the door behind him.  
He placed his hands on the edge of the sink, staring at his reflection in the mirror.   
This couldn't be happening. He desperately tried to remember what happened last night but it was all in a blur, only small flashbacks crossing his mind which didn't make much sense. What was he supposed to do now?  
Sighing, he splashed cold water in his face and taking two painkillers in the hope of clearing his head a bit and then returned to the room.  
Julian was still sleeping peacefully so Danny started getting dressed quietly. Just when he was about to leave he heard a scratchy voice: “Danny?”  
Turning around he saw his team mate looking at him with half opened eyes, sitting up on the bed. Danny's eyes immediately landed on the other guys naked torso and with a blush creeping up his face he quickly averted his gaze.  
“Where you going?” Julian asked quietly, obviously fighting the same headache like Danny.  
“I, uhm,” Danny mumbled, not knowing what to say. “Uhm, actually I wanted to see if there's still breakfast available as I think I need to eat something to battle the throbbing pain in my head.”  
Patting himself in the shoulder for his quick thinking he smiled at Julian.  
The younger guy nodded slightly. “Ok, I guess I'm going back to sleep, see you later.” With that he had already lay back down, eyes closed and breathing deeply.  
Danny let out a sigh of relief and quickly left the room. He had no idea what time it was but when stepping in the elevator he was greeted by Tom who didn't look much fresher than Danny felt.  
“Are you on the hunt for food as well?” the Quarterback asked him and Danny nodded. “Good, I hope there is some breakfast left, I think they said something about leaving it out until noon or so yesterday.”  
Danny just nodded again, his head still in the hotel room he had just left.  
“Are you ok?” Tom gave him a concerned look and Danny swallowed hard, not saying anything.  
Luckily they arrived on the ground floor, giving Danny an excuse not to reply.  
They walked into the breakfast room, happily seeing that breakfast was still available even though none of their team mates were to be seen.  
Sitting in silence for a few minutes while eating, Danny couldn't keep his mouth shut any longer.  
“I think I slept with Julian!” he said, not exactly knowing why, after swallowing a mouthful of coffee.  
“You what?” Tom yelled making Danny flinch.  
“Could you keep it down a bit, my head is throbbing as if a flock of elephants are running a riot inside of it,” Danny grumbled.  
“Sorry but what are you expecting me to do when you say something like this?” The older guy was watching him with wide eyes. “And what do you even mean by 'you think'? Did you or did you not sleep with Julian?”  
Danny groaned in exasperation, regretting that he opened his mouth.  
“I don't know ok. When I woke up he was lying next to me and we were both naked. I have hardly any recollection of what happened yesterday so I seriously don't know.”  
Tom hummed understandingly. “What are you going to do now?”  
“I have no fucking idea. I mean, I can't just ask him if he knows if we slept with each other, can I?” Danny sighed, dropping his head in his hands.  
Tom gave him a sympathetic clap on the back. “Maybe this is the opportunity to finally talk to Julian?”  
Danny's head snapped up regretting it immediately when the pain flared up again. “Are you crazy? If he remembers he's probably already regretting it so I sure as hell won't bring it up.”  
“Danny, at some point you need to tell him, this can't go on like that!” Tom scolded him, his eyes full of concern for his friend though.   
“At some point maybe but this will most definitely not be too soon.” Danny stubbornly said, continuing to eat his breakfast.  
Tom just sighed, not replying anything as he knew that Danny would just close of even more.  
They finished their breakfast in silence, Matthew having joined them shortly after their conversation. They talked about the party, their plans for the break and how they couldn't believe that just a few days ago they had won the Super Bowl.  
Danny excused himself after some time, claiming he wanted to go back to his room to get a bit more sleep.  
Tom gave him a pointed look which Danny ignored and then he headed out of the room. Instead of going back upstairs though he walked out of the hotel and climbed into a taxi as he definitely wouldn't be going back to the room where Julian was probably still asleep, blissfully unaware of what had been going on.  
Arriving home Danny immediately packed a bag and was headed towards the airport only three hours later without telling anyone that he was already going back home as he originally hadn't planned to go back for at least another week.

 

His parents were pleasantly surprised when he turned up on their door step late that night but didn't say anything which Danny was grateful for.  
Spending the next few days mostly with them, he tried to distract himself as some memories of that fatal night had started to come back to him. He also didn't check his phone as he was afraid of having received a message from Julian. When the younger guy showed up at his house, fuming, a week after he left, Danny realised that this hadn't been the best idea.  
He had just finished his shower after his morning run when the doorbell rang, followed by a loud and impatient knock. Danny rolled his eyes while walking to the door. Opening it he was just about starting to give out to the person standing there when he was already pushed aside.  
“Daniel James Amendola what the hell were you thinking?”  
Danny turned around to face an angry looking Julian. Before he could even process that the other guy was standing in his house, Julian continued yelling at him. “Do you know how worried we all were when you didn't answer your phone for a week and weren't at your house? Did the fact that we woke up in the same bed, naked, scare you so much that you thought you needed to run away?” Julian looked at him panting and raging and Danny gasped in surprise, his eyes wide.  
“Yes Danny, I do remember that night and also the morning after when you basically fled the room. Is the thought of you and me so appalling for you that you can't even look at me now?”  
“Jules, I...” Danny started yet was immediately interrupted by Julian.  
“You what Danny? I know that it probably wasn't the best way for it to happen but I had hoped that this would have finally helped you see that I feel the same way about you as you feel about me!”  
“You, what?” Danny shook his head in disbelief, sure his mind was playing tricks on him.  
“God Danny, sometimes you're really dense,” Julian muttered, taking a few steps towards him. “I thought the signals I had been sending you were obvious enough but you're still as oblivious as ever. When Tom finally told me two days ago that you had freaked out over breakfast about our possible night together I knew I had to talk to you.”  
“Tom told you?” Danny felt anger rising inside of him as he had trusted Tom to not tell anyone.   
“That's not the point!” Julian yelled desperately, making Danny focus on him again. “He told me after I went to him to ask if he heard anything from you and I mentioned that I might knew why you were gone. He thinks we're both stupid by the way.”  
Danny huffed, still feeling slightly angry at Tom but then Julian other words were starting to register.  
“Wait, you like me as well?” Danny asked which caused Julian to laugh.  
“Yes you doofus, I like you a lot for quite some time now.”  
“But why didn't you say anything?” Danny didn't understand it.  
“Well, first I didn't know if you were feeling the same. And after I gave you so many hints I figured you weren't ready yet. Besides I still think I don't deserve you so therefore I kept quiet about it.” Julian looked at his feet, obviously feeling a little insecure after his revelation, a flicker of guilt crossing his face.  
“I thought we had left that behind us?” Danny said softly, taking the last step between them and forcing Julian to look up by placing a hand under his chin.  
The younger guy shrugged: “I know but sometimes when I look at you these feelings of remorse are coming up again and I ask myself how I got so lucky that you forgave me.”   
He tried to lower his head again but Danny kept his grip firmly on his chin, not breaking eye contact.  
“You deserve it as you showed me how sorry you are about everything and by proving to me that you are a totally different guy now. A guy I really like if I may say so.” Danny smiled at Julian who grinned back.  
“Do you now?” the Californian asked, his usual cheekiness back in his voice.  
Danny nodded and moved even closer to Julian.  
“I do indeed and as we both know now that we're on the same page I guess you won't mind me doing this.”  
With this he tilted the younger ones face up a bit more and closed the gap between them by pressing his lips on Julian's.  
He started caressing Julian's cheek with his thumb while the other guys’ hands had found their way to his hips. They stood like this for a while, Julian deepening the kiss by tracing Danny's lower lip with his tongue, begging them to open up for him which Danny happily obliged to.  
When they had to part to take a much needed breath, Danny leaned his forehead against Julian's.  
“We are idiots, aren't we?” He asked and Julian laughed.  
“Yes we are but that doesn't matter now does it?”  
“No it doesn't,” Danny agreed, sealing their lips with another kiss.


	13. Epilogue

Epilogue

“Oh come on guys, can't you keep your hands to yourself for a few minutes?” Julian and Danny broke their kiss, both turning around to Tom with sheepish smiles on their faces.  
“Well, you thought it was a good idea to take us to a secluded lodge in the middle of nowhere, what were you expecting?” Julian asked with a smug grin, his hands never leaving Danny's hips.  
Tom just shook his head defeated albeit a fond look was now on his features.   
“Ok you got me there but we're here for training and no Julian, not that kind of training!” he said, rolling his eyes when both Wide Receivers started laughing.   
“Let's give him some rest,” Danny said, pecking Julian's lips quickly. “Otherwise he will leave us here forever, having to hunt for our food and stuff.”  
Julian smirked, pulling Danny closer again: “Well, I wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life stuck here with you to be honest!”  
Danny smiled into the following kiss, slightly shaking his head. Julian was really unbelievable sometimes.  
Tom let out another desperate groan, muttering under his breath that he should have brought Gronk along for moral support. He grabbed a few plates, finishing setting the table which Danny and Julian obviously got distracted from. However, he couldn't be too angry with his team mates as he was just happy that they finally figured out how they felt for each other even though it had put his patience on some serious tests.  
The pair separated at last, helping Tom finish breakfast and planning the day while eating.  
Tom had taken them both to Montana in the middle of nowhere for two weeks for some altitude training as well as some bonding as Tom liked to understand his key players not only on the field but also personally. Danny had a suspicion by now though that Tom regretted that decision, as Julian and him had been all over each other during the days they had already been here.  
When Julian had given him some earplugs on their first day, Tom had taken them with a laugh but the next morning they had found out he had moved to the bedroom furthest away from them during the night. Since then they didn't let one opportunity slip to perform some PDA in front of Tom, just to annoy him a bit. It was all playful banter though as Tom had told Danny a few nights ago that he was honestly delighted for both of them, even though it took them far too long.  
Danny had just smiled, thinking back to the day in February where Julian had showed up on his doorstep, confessing his feelings for him.   
They had been talking a lot since then and Danny had finally learned the whole story behind Julian's behaviour in High School. Turns out, the younger guy had been struggling with his sexuality back then already and Danny had kind of made him realise that he was definitely attracted to men as he apparently had his first wet dream about Danny.  
The older guy had huffed, blushing furiously though, telling Julian he had had a weird way of showing his attraction towards him but he wasn't really angry anymore.   
He had even felt brave enough to tell his parents, with Julian's support of course.  
His mum had just hugged him tightly, asking him if he seriously thought she hadn't figured it out already. His dad told him that he was proud of him and not only for finally feeling comfortable enough to tell them but also of everything that Danny had achieved in his life.   
They had spent another few weeks in California before they spontaneously decided to go on a little round trip around Europe for a month, visiting cities like Barcelona, Amsterdam, Hamburg and Prague. On arriving back in the US Tom had called them and asked if they wanted to accompany him to Montana where they found themselves now.

Danny sat at the table, watching his boyfriend bicker with one of his best friends and couldn't believe his luck that his life had turned out like this.  
He caught Julian's eyes and the younger guy blew him a kiss, smiling at him and in that moment he knew that all the struggles he had had to face had been worth it.


End file.
